Savage Love: Dog Walker Denies Walkies to Dipshit Wanker

I just wanted to say thank you for making your podcast into a venue for frank and open discussion of sexuality. Having been previously been fairly ignorant about others’ kink lifestyles I would not have known how to interpret and respectfully respond to a question that was presented to me this morning. I’m a student and part-time dog walker and I was approached by a person looking to be walked as a dog. A “pup play” enthusiast, I think? I’ve enclosed a screen grab of our conversation.

My instinct was to respect this person’s bravery in exploring their kinks but then make it clear it was questionable of them to push back against my polite no. Especially since your show has given me the strong impression that respect for boundaries and consent is important to various kink communities. Perhaps this person is either new to their kink community and hasn’t learned the appropriate norms and etiquette yet? Or they have been ostracized from the community which is why they are reaching out to independent dog- walkers? To clarify, I have no current ties with any kink communities and have only walked non-human dogs. If you have time, I wouldn’t mind any additional info or input. Did I read this situation correctly?

Woman Lacking Kinks Really Surprised

You read the situation correctly, WLKRS, and you were far kinder to this person than you needed to be. You were far kinder to him than he deserved.

What he did was wrong—and he knew it. It wasn’t just the pushback after your exquisitely polite and non-kink-shaming response that was wrong, WLKRS, but the ask in the first place. A person with “a thing” for being degraded in public doesn’t ask a dog walker if they walk humans for the same reason a person with “a thing” for being jacked off doesn’t ask a professional massage therapist if they give handjobs: it’s creepy and inappropriate to ask a professional who isn’t a professional sex worker to incorporate sex work into what they do. It doesn’t matter that dragging animals around on a leash is part of your job, just as it doesn’t matter that putting their hands on someone is part of a massage therapist’s job.

This guy is obviously kinky, WLKR, but he demonstrated zero respect for the default/presumed boundaries of any service professional and/or gig economy victim when he sent you that first message. And while kink communities and kink educators have long “centered,” as the college kids like to say, honoring boundaries and soliciting informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent, those concepts have been embraced and adopted by the mainstream. So this guy isn’t just a shitty kinky person, WLKR, he’s a shitty person, period. You should report him (if he approached you on an app like Rover or Wag), shoot him a link to today’s SLLOTD, and then block his number.