I was having casual sex with one person for nearly the past year. However, his shoddy performance of late coupled with our mutual lack of desire to have a typical relationship led me to the Craigslist Casual Encounters section. For the first time in my life I responded to an ad, researched the guy, met him in a public place where I knew all of the employees, then a few days later had him over to my house. We had great sex for hours. I considered this a success. My happiness with my first CL experience, my natural curiosity, my high sex drive, and my struggle to pay bills led me to CL once again a couple of weeks later, but this time with the intention of getting paid for sex. Like the first time, I responded to an ad, met him safely, etc., then had him to my house. The sex wasn’t as awesome and he wasn’t as cute as the first guy, but I’ve certainly had worse sex with less attractive people for free.
I believe sex work should be legal, but I never pictured me doing it. I keep waiting for the Irish Catholic guilt of my childhood to pop up, or for me to suddenly become aware of my poor self-esteem which led me to this point, but so far I’m pretty happy with the return I got for my time and work. And I’m thinking I’ll keep this up as an ongoing thing with this man, since I can certainly use the additional income. So my question is this: Is this how sex workers are created? Is it really this easy? Are there going to be repercussions to my psyche that I haven’t envisioned yet? Or will I continue to be a happy, progressive, horny, hot bi chick who also happens to fuck for money?
No Acronym
My response after the jump…
Yes, this is how sex workers—self-employed sex workers, the kind of sex workers that ethical sex customers seek out—are created. They take out an ad somewhere offering their services for the first time, they meet up with a potential client for the first time, they get paid for sex for the first time.
Will your Catholic guilt kick in at some point? Perhaps. Catholic guilt is harder to escape than the murderer in a teen slasher flick—unless you’re the pope, of course, who seems incapable of feeling guilt or shame or remorse. As for the potential repercussions to your psyche, well, the longer you do sex work, NA, the likelier you are to have one or two or three hundred bad experiences, and a bad sex-work experience can really put the zap on your head. Yes, yes: working at McDonald’s can put the zap on your head too, and the pay is a lot less. But you don’t have to take someone into your body working at McDonald’s—you don’t have to engage in physical intimacy and/or fake emotional intimacy.
That said, NA, if you’re selective about clients, if you continue to screen them carefully, and if you don’t do things/guys you’re not absolutely comfortable with, you should be okay. But there are no guarantees.
And you’re already doing one big thing right: “I’m thinking I’ll keep this up as an ongoing thing with this man.” Every sensible sex worker knows that it’s safer to have a small and established clientele—even if it’s a clientele of one—than it is to constantly be seeking new clients. Each new client is a potential head case and advertising for clients can bring you to the attention of the police. So stick with that guy, if you think he’s safe, maybe advertise until you have one or two more clients you can rely on, and then yank your ad until you need to add another client or two to your roster.
Good luck, NA, and condoms, condoms, condoms.
Get an incall! Hotel room, rented apartment, whatevs. Exposing your personal house to clients is risky.
This is great! We need to show the world that we’re* not on meth, slaves, or hating our lives out here in the sex industry. I would like to believe there are better things for cops to do with their time… Does anyone know just how actively they are seeking out the prosecution of sex workers?
*the happy, independent workers
This is certainly the land of opportunity, and this is the forum to support alternative lifestyles Buut … it’s not like were talking about something that is ‘mostly harmless, with a few bad apples’.
We’re not talking about weed here, were talking meth. A few people may use responsibly and get away with it, but the majority are relentlessly ruining their lives.
Fine, be a happy sex worker. But please don’t invite others to condone and support something so dangerous.
Very nice! Our culture still insists that there’s a huge chasm between the sexually adventurous who meet people on CL and the sexually adventurous who meet people on CL for money. It really is a very small step from one to the other. I know plenty of people who use this method for a little extra cash sometimes when they’re strapped. The entire process is the same if they were or weren’t getting paid.
The more we realize how safe and normal prostitution can be, the more safe and normal the entire industry will become. Yes, it’s OK to screen your clients. Yes, it’s OK to only pick the cute ones. Who’s to say you have to be miserable if you’re being paid? Sex is fun!