There are two awesome things the following video will teach you: 1) Some amazing stripper pole tricks, and 2) how to talk with a lisp. Check out such great moves as “the thpiral,” the “candy cane corkthcrew,” and the “upthide down thpin” which ith my perthonal favorite.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey

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strangely hypnotic
Not that strange. Hundreds of men in our fair city seem to be ‘hypnotized’ nightly, plenty of ladies are as well.