This video demonstration of an artificial hymen…

For potential hymen purchasers worried about the mechanics of operating a hymen replacement, the site offers a helpful step-by-step guide. โ€œInsert the Artificial Hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrates, it will ooze out a liquid that appears like blood, not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans and you will pass through undetectable!โ€

…is the creepiest, saddest, and most depressing thing I’ve seen on the Internet in weeks. Jeremy Wilson at The Kernel unpacks the creepiness:

If ever there were a reason to be horrified at the tentacles of the historic patriarchal oppression of womenโ€™s stubborn hold on modern day life, this is it. In a world where weโ€™re constantly being told of technologyโ€™s potential to drive positive social change, itโ€™s galling to see it being used to appease the infantile fantasies of backwards cultures. Depressing, really.

But… wouldn’t an artificial hymen that works in the palm of your hand also work in your someone’s ass? Anyone’s ass? Seems to me that a girl could subvert the shit out of the patriarchy by sticking one of these in her boyfriend’s ass and pegging the shitโ€”and just the right amount of a liquid that appears to be bloodโ€”right out of him. And any gay men out there hymen envy could order a few. And, hey, a coupleโ€”gay or straightโ€”could order a crate and spend a long, sensuous evening busting all sorts of hymens. Pegging hymens! Blowjob hymens! Handjob hymens! Buttsecks hymens! Tittyfucking hymens! Wet-willy hymens! The patriarchy-subverting possibilities are endless!

In addition to being a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist, the author of several books, and the host of the Savage Lovecast, Savage is “a deviant of the highest order” (Daily Caller)....