Sports—especially football—hold the same appeal to me as choking on a hunk of poisoned caramel corn dipped in molten lead. However! I love football a wee bit more when they are lampooned by the geniuses over at Bad Lip Reading. Check it out! (Especially the ref at the 1:03 mark. HILARIOUS!)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)