Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Charlotte Bobcats. It’s like Cat Friday came a few days early!
Oh, remember the whole embarrassing Draft the ‘Stache campaign? Has there ever been a more shameful period of Blazers fandom than the dark days where most fans—um, perhaps myself included—were duped into hoping the franchise draft the boo-hooing mustached trainwreck that is Adam Morrison? Thank god for Kevin Pritchard, since Portland walked away from that draft with LaMarcus Aldridge, some guy named Brandon Roy, and Sergio Rodriguez. Meanwhile, the Bobcats are stuck with the world’s tallest Rage Against the Machine fan.
PRE-GAME:
Charlotte is coming off their game of the season, a double-OT upset of the Lakers in Los Angeles. But the win cost them the services of Gerald Wallace—watch a man go to the hospital—and the team has to be exhausted with four players netting close to 50 minutes of court time last night. Wallace will be replaced by old man Juwan Howard, who was in his rookie year when Nicolas Batum turned six.
Wait, Blazers vs. Bobcats, didn’t this game already happen? Yep, about 10 days ago in Charlotte, where the Bobcats grinded out a sloppy win against Portland. In fact, the Bobcats have knocked off Portland three straight games, but a win tonight seems unlikely.
Wait, scratch that. Morrison is starting. No tears, man.
FIRST QUARTER:
11:50 – Ten seconds in and Sergio commits a rare un-turnover (a steal, actually) which leads to a pair of Batum points. 2-0 PDX.
8:15 – Things are back to normal, Sergio turns it over and the Bobkittens score. 9-8 Portland.
4:06 – Portland is faster, and with Oden out there, stronger as well. But the Blazers’ lead is a mere two points. Credit Morrison, he’s 0-2 shooting and has a pair of fouls. Enjoy the bench, young man. 15-13 Portland.
1:27 – Aldridge is having a monster first quarter—11 points so far—and Bayless is earning his minutes by just knocking back a three. 26-19 Blazers.
0:32 – Wow. Back to back ridiculousness from the Blazers. First Bayless passes it full court to Rudy Fernandez who dishes it to Aldridge while mid-jump = two points. But that was nothing, as the clock expired Bayless somehow completes a miraculous layup as the buzzer goes off. I have no clue how that went in. You want a reason to join Team Bayless? This game was 11-9 in Portland’s favor when Bayless checked in (and Sergio, more importantly, checked out) it is now 32-18 Blazers.
SECOND QUARTER:
10:05 – Portland is shooting 72%, Charlotte 33%. I wonder if the score reflects that? It does: 36-18 Blazers. Bayless leaves the game after orchestrating a 25-10 run in eight minutes. And Sergio is the starter?
8:01 – Rudy, bored with traditional passes, goes behind-the-back to lead a fastbreak that results in a layup from Przybilla. 40-25 Portland.
3:52 – Sergio = cancer. Wait, that is unfair to cancer. The Rodriguez minutes allowed the Bobcats to waltz back into the game—his +/- rating is the worse of anyone in the game at -7 (for the sake of shaming him, Bayless is +18)—and now he is thankfully getting the hook. I’d rather have a one-armed Steve Blake in there right now. 47-36 Portland.
0:48 – Roy, while jawing at the officials, knocks back a layup. As Bayless comes in, the points stack up. 55-40 Portland.
THIRD QUARTER:
11:44 – For those keeping track at home, it took Sergio 16 seconds to commit his first turnover of the half. I had eight seconds in the betting pool. 56-40 Portland.
7:54 – Oden goes D-U-N-K! He now has a very early double-double: 10 points and 11 boards. Eight more blocks and he’ll have the triple-double. 65-50 Portland.
4:33 – Aldridge is still dominating from just about every spot on the hardwood. He’s 11-14 shooting with 25 on the night. 72-54 Portland.
0:00 – Rudy had a tough quarter. He gets whistled for a travel, a carry, hits a three that was erased because a Przybilla foul, and then finally he clanks a three at the buzzer. No matter, the lead is large and victory is a mere dozen minutes away. 74-58 Blazers.
FOURTH QUARTER:
10:39 – It’s a new quarter, so Rudy has recovered. He finally gets his three pointer to fall. 77-60 Portland.
9:55 – …and then an alley-oop for Rudy, passed from the hands of Senor Turnover, Sergio Rodriguez. 79-60 Portland.
5:56 – Although myself, and the rest of Portland, would rather see Roy resting on the bench right now, he’s still out there, burying jumpers. Sit him down. If he gets hurt in this garbage time, I’ll riot. I am totally prepared to overturn a cop car. 84-68 Blazers.
2:06 – Finally, the starters sit and the scrubs enter. Channing Frye? You still play for Portland? I thought you were a professional blogger. If Coach Nate needs any more bloggers to suit up, I am ready. I didn’t wear these short shorts and headband for nothing. 88-72 Portland.
0:58 – Shavlik Randolph!! (Two words I did not expect to type tonight). 88-72 Blazers.
0:00 – And that’ll do it. With this win, Portland now moves within 1.5 games of the Denver Nuggets, and first place. Your final score, Portland 88, Charlotte 74.