Today in “counting your blessings,” I’d like you all to be thankful for what you have—and if you’re having trouble, just remember that at least your horse didn’t get the herpes, forcing you to ride around on a stick at the Farmington Junior Queen Rodeo. Or as contestant Kylie Felter so wisely puts it, “With a stick horse, it’s a little bit different because you have to do all the work—and I think it’s going to be a lot more tiring… than with a real horse.” Truer words, Kylie… truer words.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)