Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko delivers one of the most hilarious and STD inflicting skating routines since I accidentally smashed into the rear end of that grandma at the Lloyd Center ice rink. OH, WHY CAN’T THE OLYMPICS BE MORE LIKE THIS?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jyWPyY9wyGM%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)