Photoshop is as close as LeBron will get to wearing this jersey.
  • Photoshop is as close as LeBron will get to wearing this jersey.

The only thing worse than seeing either the Lakers or Celtics win the NBA championship—looking good, Los Angeles—is the endless drama stirred up by one LeBron James. The NBA’s most talented player is a free agent, so instead of just stating his intentions, he is parading about the country until the July 1 start of free agency, holding the Cleveland Cavaliers’ dreams hostage, while toying with various other franchises as well.

Clearly the Blazers have real problems and lack the salary cap room it takes to sign the most expensive athlete on the planet, but don’t let logic or reason stand in the way—LET’S HOLD A RALLY TO GET LEBRON TO PORTLAND!!!!

Now armed with a permit, this myopic group of well-meaning, but absolutely pathetic, Blazers fans will now embarrass Portland just like similar desperate acts—this, this, this, this, and especially this—have shamed other cities.

The pandering columns—he should know better and he really should know better—that have made the case for LeBron coming to the Blazers make little sense (I get it, Nike is close to the Rose Garden, but if the man wants a shoes he’ll get them overnighted. He is LeBron James, he is not moving somewhere for a pair of goddamn sneakers.) and distract from more pressing issues with this team. If these Blazer fans want to use their permit to hold a rally to save Kevin Pritchard’s job—or to draft Solomon Alabi—that is fine, but please don’t make Portland look this desperate.

Ezra Ace Caraeff is the former Music Editor for the Mercury, and spent nearly a third of his life working at the paper. More importantly, he is the owner of Olive, the Mercury’s unofficial office dog....

20 replies on “LeBron James Will <i>Never</i> be a Portland Trail Blazer”

  8. Did you guys see when LeBron just quit during the playoff series. That was awesome. I don’t remember the last time I saw a player just quit on his entire team like that before.

  9. First, I would find it amazing if a player in James’s position (in terms of age, talent and no championships) made a quick decision about where to play. Look at the teams that will be in a decent position to sign him: Cleveland, New York, Chicago, New Jersey and the L.A. clippers. Not exactly surefire championship settings for the near future.

    Second, the perceived clutches that James holds everyone in doesn’t result from his decision making style, or lack thereof; it results from the absolute fascination that he draws from the media–a fascination that, within a sports context, is somewhat understandable.

    Third, if James gave Cleveland a polite heads up that he wouldn’t be returning, Portland could indeed pull off a sign-and-trade that would bring him to the Blazers. Given the larger elements of the situation, that probably won’t happen. However, if James is as egocentric as they say, a little fan worship couldn’t hurt.

  11. It’s been widely reported that LeBron will be wearing number 6 next season. Oh, wait, this is the Mercury. never mind.

  13. I really don’t think you know a whole lot about basketball. A sign and trade could indeed work. If you don’t think so, argue with NBA veteran writer Sam Smith. So your entire paragraph of:

    Clearly the Blazers have real problems and lack the salary cap room it takes to sign the most expensive athlete on the planet, but don’t let logic or reason stand in the way—LET’S HOLD A RALLY TO GET LEBRON TO PORTLAND!!!!

    doesnt really seem to make sense anymore. So I guess dont let logic or reason stand in the way of a good researched article right?

    Also the idea of being in a close proximity to Nike is to develop a relationship and a presence in the local area. Are you saying you wouldn’t want to be near the worldwide headquarters of a company that is paying you nearly half of your annual income?

    So please give me one reason why bringing LeBron to Portland would be a bad idea. Just one will do. Also, don’t feed me any of this “ego” stuff. REALITY CHECK: ALL NBA PLAYERS (even the crappy ones) HAVE EGOS. LeBron probably has a bigger one, mostly because he is a bigger star. If you think our blazers are all humble, you have fallen victim to pre-rehearsed press statements, cleverly woven press releases and a publicity campaign that would make Karl Rove jealous.

  14. for all you that want to save kp job let me ask you why he has been stripped of his gm duties long ago hes been made a mouth piece thats all he wasnt the one that made all those deals he was stripped of any real power after he made a ass of himself at evry turn dont worry unless we start talking about getting rid of nate the great that is who runs this team .all these years paul allen has been a great owner i think we should just trust him he loves his team he wont make any moves without a good reason .and about lebron has any one herd of a sighn and trade if so name a deeper team in the nba just think about that .nike town .nate and lbj really got along at the olympics .

  16. Good response Erza. Make fun of some bad grammar when he pointed out fundamental flaws in your article. An article that was written off hand and with little to no research or objectivity. Although the LeBron rally was fairly lame, and created haphazardly (like your articles), I would be willing to bet most of those fans who attended have actually heard of a sign and trade and are twice the follower of sports then you are.

    In case you’re curious… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_and_trad&hellip;

    That’s what a sign and trade is.

  17. First off, it’s Ezra. Not Erza. Don’t play the grammar card unless you can get my name right.

    I’ll well aware of what sign and trade is, but just because it exists that doesn’t mean it will happen. Feel free to enlighten me with the countless other sign and trade deals that have involved elite NBA superstars (Rashard Lewis doesn’t count). You can send your answer in another Wikipedia link if you’d like.

  18. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar – “In linguistics, grammar is the set of structural rules that govern the composition of sentences, phrases, and words in any given natural language. Linguists do not normally use the term to refer to orthographical rules”

    Orthographical – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthography – “The orthography of a language specifies the correct way of using a specific writing system (script) to write the language. ” i.e. grammar does not normally deal with spelling.

    So since grammar has essentially nothing to do with spelling, duckman can use the grammar card even if you have a girls name. LAWYERED!!!!

  19. My apologies for messing your name up. I was more upset that instead of responding to someones criticism you simply mocked his poor post.

    Although many have not happened it does not mean that it wont. As the Cleavland Cavaliers what incentive to do they have to let a superstar walk out of their organization without receiving anything in return?

    Without doing a ton of research, the ones off the top of my head are:

    T-Mac to the Magic, Kenyon Martin to the Nuggets, Hedo to the Raptors, and Joe Johnson to the Atlanta Hawks. (Why doesn’t Rashard Lewis count? He was one of the biggest stars in that free agency market that a team could acquire at the time)

    Can you tell me the last time this much talent was out in a free agency market? The hype of this off-season is that it is unprecedented. If you are under the belief that just because it is a big name player then a sign and trade is out of the realm of reality, I couldn’t disagree with you more. All of the big names this off-season have been linked to sign and trade possibilities and even Mark Cuban (who I think knows a little bit more about what is likely and what is not likely to happen than you said he has been considering sign and trade options for LeBron).

  20. ezra there’s no need to be a doucher. you wrote an article, some people have opposing views. as a “journalist” you have to be ok with some criticisms that come your way or you will never get past these fluff pieces for a random portland news site.

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