The O is reporting that longtime knuckle-dragger, and big man developer, Maurice Lucas will return to the Portland Trail Blazers’ bench this season.
This is excellent news not only for Lucas and his ongoing health issues—he missed nearly the entire 2008-09 season due to bladder cancer surgery—but for the Blazers as well. In addition to being the most intimidating person in the arena—if the man has a daughter, I would not want to come to his door and ask for permission to date her—Lucas’ assistant coaching job is mainly limited to reeling in the team’s big men, namely Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla. Obviously Przybilla is fine, but Oden was rudderless last season without Lucas by his side. Plus, if this team’s biggest weakness lies in the fact that they are a bunch of pansies who’d rather pick flowers and talk about their feelings than throw some elbows on the court—I’m just generalizing here—Lucas is the man who can turn that around. Good news all around.