Olympic Snowboarder Scotty Lago won a bronze medal Thursday night, and promptly used it to SCORE CHICKS, as seen in the following photos racing around the internet.

Scotty-Lago-Pictures-Racy.jpg

Yes. Not only would I have allowed such a hot chick to bite my medal, I would also hang it around my waist to tempt said hot chick to kiss it, thereby miming fellatio for whomever may be taking photos in the general area. AND YET? For this the Olympic Committee strongly advised him to apologize and leave the Olympic Village! From Examiner:

“Scotty Lago is a great athlete, but with that comes a responsibility of proper conduct and his involvement in this situation is not acceptable. Scotty realizes his conduct was inappropriate. He has formally apologized and also made a decision to leave Vancouver today.”

Excuse me, but BOOOOOOO!!! I’m sorry, but if getting a medal doesn’t also mean getting hot chicks—then WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE OLYMPICS ANYWAY?? (Or of life for that matter.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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