Roller Derby Recap: Heartless Heathers vs. Break Neck Betties

• Masonite Burn (AKA Sharkey)
• Heartless Heathers looking behind while the Betties’ SoulFearic Acid leaves ’em in the dust.

So last weekend I was all, “Yowza, the High Rollers’ Sully Skullkicker sure scored a lot of points against the Guns N Rollers with 57.” Well now that’s ancient roller-derby history in this fast-growing sport. The Break Neck Betties jammer SoulFearic Acid scored 115 points (!!!!) during Saturday’s bout against the Heartless Heathers with a final score of Betties 202, Heathers 79. That, my friends, is a case of the Betties breaking some Heartless hearts. It was a fun game to watch even with its lopsided outcome, as excellent blocker Cadillac was back in red for the Betties, just doling out strategic and crushing blocks to the Heathers all evening long. Plus Goodie Two Skates, back on Portland turf for the first time since a move back from Seattle, was throwing around mega amounts of attitude and sass on the track whenever she was jamming for the Heathers, which was a grand time to watch. The Heathers were looking pretty green during the game, keeping their blockers toward the back of the pack, which unfortunately meant that their jammer was all alone in her fight to get past the hard-defending Betties. This strategy didn’t make for a lot of points for the Heathers in the first half, but it opened the floor for powerhouse SoulFearic acid to breezily rack up scoreboard numbers. She makes it look so easy. It is not easy. By the second half, the Heathers had pulled themselves together for another go of it, with a highlights reel hit by French Tickler to absolutely decimate Betties jammer Avalanche. But Acid was on jamming fire and the Betties weren’t putting any bench warmers on the jammer line, hence the blowout final score. It was good times, particularly if you were a Betties fan, meanwhile Heathers fans were stiffening their upper lips.

More great photos from Sharkey after the jump.

• Masonite Burn (AKA Sharkey)
• Oh just another picture of SoulFearic Acid—maybe because she scored a bonkers amount of points. Cadillac is doing a knock-down job of ferrying her through the Heathers pack.

• Masonite Burn (AKA Sharkey)
• More like Goodie ‘Tude Skates, as the newly returned veteran skater Goodie Two Skates jams for the Heathers.