Shaquille O’Neal, the talented/charming/infuriating presence that has dominated the NBA for the past 19 years (well, at least 16 of those 19 years) is retiring from basketball. O’Neal made the announcement this morning and while Blazers fans have a rightful reason to despise Shaq—like this moment of shame—he was one of the more interesting NBA players of the past few decades. He leaves the game with a fistful of championship rings (four of ’em), one MVP trophy, three Finals MVP awards, and enough impressive stats to make him a first ballot Hall of Fame inductee.

Let’s all remember Shaq Fu for his finest moment both on the court, and on record…

Ezra Ace Caraeff is the former Music Editor for the Mercury, and spent nearly a third of his life working at the paper. More importantly, he is the owner of Olive, the Mercury’s unofficial office dog....

3 replies on “Shaquille O’Neal to Retire From Basketball”

  1. I’ve never been a big fan, but he’s undeniably one of the greatest centers the game’s ever had. It’s crazy how “old” 39 is in pro sports.

  2. I’m the hooper hyper protected by viper
    when I’m not hoopin you’d better decipher
    in other words you’d better make a funky decision
    cuz I’m a be a shaq knife and cut you with precision
    forget tony danza I’m the boss
    when it comes to money I’m like dick the frost
    now who’s the first draft pick word in bornin
    not a christian laettner not alonzo mouring
    that’s ok not being bragga docious
    supercalifragelistic shaq alidocious
    peace I gotta go, I ain’t no joke
    now I slam it, jam it
    and make sure it’s broke

  3. I read his autobiography, SHAQ ATTAQ!, for a book report in junior high school. The only details I remember are him saying something like “The only thing Karl Malone and I agree on is that we hate golf!” and him happily referencing the B-52s’ “Love Shack.”

    In retrospect, it was a pretty good book.

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