There is no way in hell I’m going to get a ticket for the playoffs. I didn’t have enough pre-thought to begin waiting in line two days ago to buy one today, I don’t have the exorbitant amount of cash needed to procure one from an unscrupulous Craigslist scalper, and my season ticket holder friends know people they like better than me.
So, I guess I’ll be watching the game on TV like every other schmoo. Unfortunately, my home lacks cable. Fortunately, I like to drink. So does most everyone else at the Mercury. That’s why I called on my colleagues to help produce an unofficial (short) list of places to get your Rip City fix during the playoffs. Check out my pick here, and the rest after the jump. And feel free to recommend your favorites in the comments section,
Sloan’s Tavern
(36 N Russell St)
I almost don’t want to mention the best hidden gem of the Portland bar scene, but Sloan’s really might be the best non-sports bar for watching Blazers games. Plus they have a fucking truck in their wall. It’s like were Optimus Prime would go to drink, if he wasn’t a soulless car-monster thing. EC
George’s Corner Tavern
(5501 N Interstate Ave)
If you want to watch the game and a toothless man pump away his pension in the video poker machine, George’s is your dream destination. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but just get there early since their ceiling-high TVs make viewing the game a little difficult at times. EC
Sinnott’s Lil’Cooperstown Pub
(5851 NE Halsey St)
Old school as old school gets. No frills, but plenty of old folks to lecture you on how the game was better back in their day. EC
Kate O’Brien’s
(2809 NE Sandy Blvd)
Not the greatest location for actually watching the game, but their hangover breakfast is cheaper than Ron Artest elbowing Joel Przybilla (you know this is going to happen), plus it’s a good location for the early games. EC
Claudia’s
(3006 SE Hawthorne)
There are so many game viewing options at Claudia’s, it’s almost impossible to not see some form televised sporting action. From old school televisions to HD madness, Claudias has it all. Oh, and captains chairs. PAC
The Slammer
(500 SE 8th Ave)
Get closer to your fellow Blazers fans than you ever wanted to at this small but energetic SE dive. The bonus at the Slammer is the drinks are so strong that if Portland happens to lose the playoffs (shut yo mouth!), you won’t remember it. PAC
Blitz Struck out with authori-tah!
(2239 SE 11th Ave)
(110 NW 10th Ave)
Two locations for this vast, if not generic, sports bar. The Ladd’s bar is the better option, with less frat crossover from the Pearl and a more relaxed atmosphere (plus they have totchos). As for their NW location, let’s just say there is a fiery place in hell for any bartender that refuses to offer their 7pm drink discount at 6:58pm. EC
On Deck
(910 NW 14th Street)
68 inches of plasma and 25 flat screens are only second to the outrageous deck at On Deck Sports Bar (oh, I just got that!). If you can ignore the douche bag contingent and relax into a playoff drink special, it’ll do just fine. PAC
Nob Hill Bar and Grill
(937 NW 23rd Ave)
The Nob Hill is a decidedly unpretentious oasis in the trendy cluster-fuck that is Northwest 23rd. The servers are friendly, the burgers are juicy, and the beer is cold. Find old-school Blazer mania here. PAC
Cheerful Tortoise
(1939 SW 6th Ave)
Not as bad as you might think. The Cheerful can actually draw a fairly diverse crowd despite the contingent of young meat-head PSU jock types. The bartenders are great, the drinks are stiff, and the TV’s are plentiful. Also, there is a high probability of Red and Black jell-o shots. PARTY!!!! PAC
The Agency
(1939 SW Morrison St.)
I’ve never been into the Agency, because frankly, it scares the shit out of me. It just seems like too much of a good thing. Here’s a sample of what they offer: personal HD TV with DVR, sports video games on demand (XBOX, Wii, or Playstation 3), full sports re-cap shows on demand, laptops and wi-fi with live fantasy gaming. Also: food, booze, private rooms. I’m having a seizuajdfqefgvqfvghqg g j fg.
What just happened? PAC
Saw last night at East Burn. Crowd there was not into the game at all.
They have the tap room projection screen, two HD screens, only distraction was the clacking of ski balls.
Also, I’d think Blitz is great for games if you can handle the Pearl.
Grand Central if you wanna $pend, maybe they’ll have playoff specials.
Saraveza
Thanks for the recommendations! It’d be great if you could post the address too as a help to your fellow lazy Bogtownies.
Saraveza: 1004 N Killingsworth St
East Burn: 1800 E. Burnside
Grand Central: 808 SE Morrison
Carry on.
Unfortunately, both Blitz locations turned from “sports bar” to “lounge” last month (conveniently smack dab in the middle of March Madness; one round there were dozens of tvs, the next, there were none). No word on the status of the free shuffleboard yet.
I was at Ladd Blitz during the NCAAs (round of 8 I think?) with a few people. We left to go to the Blazers game, but from what I heard from my friends who stayed to watch NCAAs, the wait staff changed every single TV (and there are a lot of them) to the Blazers game, right at crunch time of a college game, much to the angst of lots of college b-ball fans sitting there watching.
I tried to like Blitz but the people who work there, I just don’t know if they understand that they’re working in a sports bar. Or a bar in general. I didn’t know about their conversion from sports bar to lounge, but it doesn’t surprise me.
Belmont has a couple good options for sports watcheration: Triple Nickel (37th) and Belmont’s Inn (34th) are both a bit grimy but in a lovable way. Triple Nickel doesn’t normally get to be a Blazers bar because they don’t have comcast, but all the playoff games are on either nat’l networks or KGW, so you can enjoy your cheap-ass-strong-ass pours with Blazermania.
Thanks Scoots! They have been struck from the list, and my heart.
In other news, Blitz may have made a dicey business decision.
For some reason I thought this was going to be a post about sports bras.
I think they got rid of the totchos, too 🙁
What about the Jolly Roger at 12th and Madison? They have like 800 tv’s in there…
What about the Jolly Roger at SE 12th and Hawthorne? Tons of tvs and cheap greasy food.
Please take the Agency off of this list. That place can suck my left nut. Expensive beers + Blazer games go together like Portland and black people.
At the Thirsty Lion we have three 50″ HDTVs and one 60″ Big Screen TV. Plus we have the sound on for all Blazer games.
Thirsty Lion Pub
71 SW 2nd Ave
Portland, Or 97204
The Thirsty Lion charges about $8 for a beer and Concept Entertainment can suck my left nut as well as the Agency.
I don’t know if HUB (Hopworks Urban Brewery) has TV’s or not, but I do know they have a Blazers-themed Porter on tap. “The Terry Porter” of course.
I plan to be sipping a few this second season.
Sloan’s is so great! I watched the game there last Friday and the guy next to me cheered so exuberantly that he broke his chair.
Jeeze s.mirk, I thought you were Mr. Markley.
Sloan’s is great. Also right up the road on Vancouver is Club 1222. Saw Cleveland play our I-5 team there on my birthday with the fabulous Ms. Griffith.
I would also vote for Alberta St. for the after-parties.
i second the call for a post about sports bras
how does marathon miss out on all this hawt action? best gyros, personal pitchers, and more tvs than stick-shaking could hope for. w burnside and something 20ish
What if I wanted to smoke a cigarette and watch the game? Still possible?
The Gladstone Street Pub (37th & Gladstone) isn’t huge but they do show every Blazer game.
Hrm, yeah, I dunno if Hopworks has TVs. I’m guessing yes. I do know that they just added three pinball machines. And according to the pinball operator, the place has good food and brews!
That is a ridiculous lie Garrett. $5.50 for a 20oz Import/Micro. Also, I doubt anyone has a desire to suck either of your nuts. Which maybe why you’re so cranky all the time.
Thank you – know we know where to stay away from for the next few weeks! We accidentally stumbled into a place that is NOT a sports bar, but has TVs last week when some Lakers game was on and the crowd trying to turn it into a sports bar was irritating as hell.
@Ritchie
Touch a nerve did I? It still doesn’t take away that the Thirsty Lion is a fake Englishish pub that is ridiculously overpriced and run by the folks who dreamed up Barracuda and Grand Central Bowl. Overpriced seems to be a common theme among Concept Entertainment run bars. What do you charge for one of your famously watered down cocktails these days? $7.00 for well or is it $6.50 when one the suburbanite frequenters come in and order a round of appletini’s to have a “real english pub” experience.
Balls sucked. Thanks Ritchie.
It’s a European style pub and since you asked, wells are $4.00.
Wouldn’t all Irish, English, Norwegian, Japanese pubs in this country be fake?
Yes, they would be. And that’s not a value judgment, but a fact.
Ritchie, what the very fuck is a “European style pub”???