Just so you guys know, I’m PRETTY GODDAMN AMAZING at mini-golf—and I’m more than willing to put down a sawbuck if any of you putt-putt posers want to take me on. HOWEVER! I refuse to take on the guy in this video. His mini-golf skills are on a whole other level… he’s got some Jedi shit going on—and his annoying super-supportive friends aren’t helping matters!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)