Fine, they’re no Christina Hendricks. However, the US Women’s Curling Team does have a certain earthy sexuality that you won’t find in Olympians such as Lindsey Vonn or Gretchen Bleiler. That’s why I’m happy to share this uplifting tribute video dedicated to the women who sweep my stone. (And by “uplifting,” naturally I mean “my boner.”)

Hat tips to Buzzfeed!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Y6D_Ax_kaFI%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)