Ugh! What is up with dating websites? I am a rich, lonely bachelor and I shouldn’t have to spend time and money sorting through profile after profile looking for attractive people who will love me for my money! Similarly, I am also a young, attractive, shallow person. Why do I have to trudge endlessly through the online jungle just to find the right desperate person who will pay me what I deserve for the pleasure of my company?
STOP! THERE’S A BETTER WAY!
Introducing WhatsYourPrice.com – the online dating service of the future. From the website (click to enlarge):
How it works under the cut:
First fill out a profile with your picture. Then…
Make an offer or accept an offer. One [sic] you find the people you’d like to date, ask them out by making an offer. If you’re a generous user, name the price you’re willing to pay for the first date. And, if you’re an attractive user, name the price you want to get paid for the first date. Our offer negotiating system will allow you to accept an offer, reject an offer, or counter with a different price.
Next stop: true love! Just remember the rules:
Generous members are expected to pay for the date (there’s no going dutch here). Our advice: Pay 50% of the date at the start of the date, and 50% at the end.
h/t Fuzzbee Plimpington
Prostitution SHOULD be fun and easy!
$1000, Zingy, and I’ll throw in a dubbing.
Bow’s got the dating beat.
Something about the pretentious/classist ads for “Elite Singles” makes me want to hate fuck the dating=money crowd much more.
Least this is honest. Except Zingy. “Buddhist”? Fucking liar.
My brother had this idea about 6 years ago. It was basically ebay prostitution, where johns and hos barter each other for hookups.
This is why I just stick my dick in the gloryholes at Steam.
I’m for whatever it takes to keep these people far out of the dating pool that decent, love-worthy human beings swim in.
I’m also for setting them on fire.
What will Patti Stanger do now?
Whatever, phonies. Y’all keep making me offers and treating B-Town like some kind of ersatz version of this particular dating site.
ROM wants to dreadlock my hair.
Night Moves offered to dreadlock my pubes.
Graham offered to deliver me a hemp cheese Boboli pizza in a dragon lace two-piece.
Ahayron just wouldn’t stop crying.
CC offered to “smack it up, flip it and rub it down,” whatever that means.
Do they take checks?
Not sure why Zingy needs to pay for it. In Newport Beach you can walk down the street and if you “Namaste!” passing women you’ll get laid on the spot. (Try to pick a soft spot if you can. It’s gentlemanly.)