The other day, I was trying to make room on my home screen for an app—One Bus Away needed better placement—and so I decided to move Facebook off the home screen. It was inadvertently the smartest thing I’ve done this month. It turns out, when Facebook isn’t on the home screen, I never think of Facebook. When I don’t think of Facebook, I’m not checking Facebook every time I get bored while standing in line or waiting for the bus. When I don’t check Facebook, I’m not continually bombarded with photographs of food or misquotes of something Albert Einstein said. I’m not unconsciously trying to figure out what that vague, passive-aggressive status update means. I’m not occupying my mind with Facebook junk.
The thing is, moving Facebook off my home screen actually made me happier in a small way. I really enjoyed not thinking about Facebook every time I was looking for a momentary distraction. I’m not saying this as a Luddite. I still love Twitter; I find it useful and I enjoy the pure timeline of it. I’ll check Facebook on my desktop on a sanely regular basis to check in on my good friends who are scattered across the country. But not seeing that goddamned blue square with the F in it every time I turned my phone on was a real pleasure. And then, this happened:
You guys, the moral of the story is that you should always listen to Anna Minard. I deleted my Facebook app yesterday, and I’m so much happier, knowing that Facebook isn’t anywhere on my phone. I encourage you to give it a try. Give it a week. You can always download the app again if you find you miss it. It’s free and easy to find. It’ll still be there, I promise. You might even wind up feeling a little bit better without it.
Can we just get rid of Paul Constant? Maybe replace him a loaf of fresh baked bread?
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE — BREAKING NEWS: PAUL CONSTANT IS ON FACEBOOK SLIGHTLY LESS THAN BEFORE. WE’LL HAVE MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPS. BACK TO YOU, GRAHAM.
One does not simply delete the Facebook app from their phone.
You know what made ignoring Facebook even easier than this trick? All the photographs of food or misquotes of something Albert Einstein said and vague, passive-aggressive status updates.
Does not make sense.
Twitter IS Facebook. Identical content, right down to all the pictures of babies and food. Twitter does feature a much crappier interface and you can do less with it, though.
Heck, half of people use one of the many programs out there to post the exact same post to both platforms simultaneously.
The key to twitter is not following anyone you know. Twitter is what you make it. Also, grandmothers have yet to discover twitter.
I second Graham’s suggestion. Bread is wonderful.
@ theterminizer on 09/25/2013 at 5:31 PM
“One does not simply delete the Facebook app from their phone.”
Sure you do, I have no traces of Shitbook on my phone. Granted I had to root it to completely remove all of the components, but it is completely uninstalled. Along with twitter, the proprietary apps that the Telco forced on me, yellowpages, and a bunch of google social crap that i have no use for.
P.S. To the Merc, will you please keep Paul Constant at the Stranger? He sucks.
The people have spoken, this guys articles aren’t doing the trick