Get ready to possibly lose your shit over this Gizmodo story:
Within the next year or two, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security will instantly know everything about your body, clothes, and luggage with a new laser-based molecular scanner fired from 50 meters away. From traces of drugs or gun powder on your clothes to what you had for breakfast to the adrenaline level in your body—agents will be able to get any information they want without even touching you.
And without you knowing it…Their plan is to install this molecular-level scanning in airports and border crossings all across the United States. The official, stated goal of this arrangement is to be able to quickly identify explosives, dangerous chemicals, or bioweapons at a distance.
You should go read the whole story. Apparently, the machine “fires a laser to provide molecular-level feedback at distances of up to 50 meters in just picoseconds” and can detect “trace amounts of cocaine on your dollar bills to gunpowder residue on your shoes.” Gizmodo continues, “Forget trying to sneak a bottle of water past security—they will be able to tell what you had for breakfast in an instant while you’re walking down the hallway.” This has to be hyperbole…doesn’t it? I mean, this is the same blog that compared Jeff Bezos to “a lion on the savannah,” so it’s not like accuracy has always been a goal of theirs. Jesus Christ, someone just tell me it’s hyperbole so I can get some sleep tonight.
Oh good, can’t wait for the follow up news story about TSA agents being fired for shouting “SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD THAT DONUT THIS MORNING, FATTY.”
Paul should stop snorting coke, then he won’t have to worry. He’ll sleep better, too.
Paul should stop snorting coke, then he won’t have to worry. He’ll sleep better, too.
Thank you Janet Napolitano.
Fucking science-ignorant media.
This is spectroscopy. It just identifies what chemicals are present, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do at an airport. It’s like a drug sniffing dog, except mechanical.
It definitely can’t tell “everything about your body,” that is false and irresponsible reporting. Shame on Gizmodo for that, they have lost all credibility with this ridiculous hyperbole, especially since they claim to be tech-oriented.
And the Merc should probably think twice before publishing items they don’t understand. What Gizmodo did is obvious, misleading sensationalism, and anyone with a basic technical background can see that.
So yes, it’s hyperbole.
Will they be able to tell if you’re using hyperbole?