The Eclipse Issue
Let’s say you want to experience a solar eclipse, but you’re busy on Monday. Maybe you have to work, or don’t want to miss any of The Price Is Right. I get it! I don’t want to put forth the effort of going outside for 90 seconds either. That said, there are plenty of ways to make your own eclipse that fit with your lifestyle.
For example, you can go to http://www.google.com, and, in the main box area, type in “pictures of a solar eclipse,” then hit enter and watch the stars align—literally! This is a breeze, and the only equipment you need is a computer with a keyboard that has the right letters, and an internet connection (“the web”).
If you want something a little bigger, just look up if there are any movies about eclipses, then see if those movies are playing anywhere with a big screen. Oohh, like OMSI! How fun is it to see a movie at OMSI? They have a Pompeii exhibit right now. Shit, if you want darkness, a volcano might just be the way to go. Volcano > eclipse, as far as hiding the Sun goes.
Speaking of darkness, another low-tech solution is setting your watch to “AM” instead of “PM.” This is a great way to trick yourself into thinking that night is day. It will be super dark at 10:15 pm... or is that 10:15 am? Have a cup of coffee and a banana and really get that “morning” vibe!
If you are an outdoorsy type, but know that you can’t go outdoors on Monday morning, just go out at a different time (maybe 1 pm or 4 pm, for example), then hold your hand up in the sky to block the Sun. Even better: Do this while someone whispers “ECLIPSE ECLIPSE ECLIPSE” into your ear. Most people don’t know this, because eclipses are so rare, but a solar eclipse actually emits the word “ECLIPSE” across its path. That’s why they’re called that.
Congratulations! You avoided hours of horrible traffic and got the exact same experience as people who spent years preparing for it! Once in a lifetime, my ass.