I've never thought about it in these terms, but if you love the Timbers more than your German Shepherd puppy, you should totally hook up with this guy.

Thursday's home opener against the Chicago Fire — Portland's first official MLS match at the freshly renovated House of Pane — is a historic event for Rose City football fans and one of the hottest tickets in town.

The game's been sold out since the night seats went on sale to the public, but for those with equal parts funding and football enthusiasm, there are still ways (legally) to get for to the nationally-televised spectacular.

Stubhub has more than 200 tickets on sale, ranging from $55 to $178.95 per seat. Craigslist, meanwhile, is another source with a similar price range. (Note: I'm not responsible for any creepiness you may casually encounter. Craiglist at your own peril.)

Of course, if you already have tickets, the city is recommending you leave your car at home and take public transportation, walk or bike. TriMet will be rolling out extra service in preparation for crowded buses and trains and will also unleash an express shuttle between downtown and the stadium.

Remember, the House of Pane is outside the free rail zone, so be prepared to drop $2 each way. Also, check out this handy map to see where parking will cost you $60. Translation: Don't. Drive.

Oh, and if you're hoping to experience an even more dull sign-changing than this, be at the MAX station at SW 18th and Morrison between 6 and 10 a.m. tomorrow to watch crews put new decals on overhead signs and install new flag signage. But before you sharpen your pitchforks, let it be known that the team is covering the costs of the switch.