The consistently gut-busting Rhett & Link have a new rap-tastic PSA for all of you Portland drivers who still insist on texting behind the wheel, and… what’s that? Oh, you’re a “TEXTPERT?” Ah. Then it’s perfectly okay!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)