So HELL YEAH we're going to add bunnies and hard-boiled eggs! Sundays are terrible enough without the extra guilt trip they're laying on us! (Besides, if your club doesn't serve candy—and later in the day, egg salad—we don't want to join.)
That brings me to the subject of television. Networks are a lot like Christians—they pretend to be pious on Easter and Christmas, but the other 363 days of the year they're gettin' CRUNK, y'all. For example, this Easter the networks are hiding their immorality underneath their mattress (along with their porn mags and cigarettes) and pretending to be fine upstanding Christians with the following shows:
• Eight Minutes (A&E, Thurs April 2, 10 pm). When I first read the title, I was like, "YAY! A new bull-riding show!" But then I was like, "Wait. People don't ride bulls for eight minutes." As it turns out, Eight Minutes follows "cop-turned-pastor" (UGH!!) Kevin Brown, who meets sex workers in hotel rooms—purportedly to have, you know, "sex"—but then forces them to sit through an eight-minute lecture on why they shouldn't be prostitutes! (And I thought I was kinky!) Obviously this guy is a SUPER CREEP, because while some women are certainly trapped in the sex trade, many see it as a legit life/career choice. And they really don't need some uptight honky shame-junkie "mansplaining" how they should live their lives. Treat this show like Sunday school, and never, ever go.
