For those new to town and thinking you’ll beat this weekend’s coming heat wave, take a quick peek at this classic Henry Weinhard’s beer commercial from 2001 (and saved for posterity by Mitchell Palmer and Reddit). There has never been, nor will there ever be a better representation of what summers on the Oregon coast feel like. (Spoiler alert: It feels like freezing your balls off, even when it’s over 100 here in town.) THIS IS FUNNY BECAUSE THIS IS TRUE.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)