Okay. Here’s what we know about the following Japanese potato chip commercial. 1) It is a Japanese potato chip commercial. I think. 2) It is about a little boy with a broken heart, who is cheered up by the most frightening walking dog you will ever witness in your life. 3) Japan is fucked. In the head.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=OainzQ0Z1-0%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)