Here’s a sneaky peek at tonight’s Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10:30 pm) starring Bill Nye, the Broad City gals, and Amber Tamblyn explaining how the universe works! (Turns out the purpose of the universe is to tell white women in their 20s how to live their lives. GOOD TO KNOW!) Language NSFW.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)