People! I am so INTO Matthew Motherfreaking McConaughey right now, that I devoted my entire TV column to him this week. Read that there, and then pop back over here to watch his interview on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel, in which he discusses his role on the AH-MAY-ZING True Detective, as well as his upcoming Oscars speech which he will deliver because he is absolutely going to win an Oscar, because he is MATTHEW MOTHERFREAKING McCONAUGHEY!!! RAHHHHH!!!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)