Clear your schedule for Saturday night, April 10, people! Because the SyFy channel is debuting their newest hilariously bad horror flick, Mega Piranha! I think we can all agree that in general, piranhas are dicks. But when they become “mega”? They’re MEGA DICKS. In the following trailer, the mega piranha has already caused a great deal of terror and bloodshed. Luckily for us, former pop star Tiffany (who has not aged well*) and Barry Williams (Greg from The Brady Bunch) are on hand, as well as some beefcake action star who I barely recognize who comes up with the best way to fend off Mega Piranhas ever—kicking them in their fat fucking faces! Booyah, piranha! In your MEGA face!

*For reference, here’s what Tiffany used to look like.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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