Did everyone take their anti-depression medication and watch True Detective last night? (I think I’m gonna start doubling up on my meds.) Anyway, it had a—cue clickbait—very SHOCKING ENDING, and we just have to talk about it! Join me for a full recap after the jump, and chime in with your opinionated opinions as well. LET’S GET CHITTY-CHATTING!
- Courtesy HBO
- “Tell me the rat goo story again! It’s HILARIOUS!”
MORE AFTER THE JUMP!
Here’s what I’m thinking about last night’s episode, “Night Finds You.”
1) The show opens with Frankie McMobster (Vince Vaughn) staring at water marks on his ceiling which reminds him of the time rats tried to eat his fingers. (Geez, wonder what he thinks about when he sees a slice of moldy bread?) He recalls being locked in the basement by his drunk dad, who gets arrested, and leaves him down there for four days. He runs out of food, the lights go out, and that’s… WHEN THE RATS CAME. (Insert dramatic sting and your eye rolling here.) Anyway, dad eventually returned but not before he repeatedly smashed a rat in his hand, leaving him covered with “rat goo.” Now I’m not Freud… but I think it’s pretty clear he may have just been masturbating?
2) Meanwhile our three cops are given their marching orders from their bosses. Ani is told to cozy up to “bent” Ray to get more info, Ray asks his corrupt bosses if they actually want him to solve this murder or not (he’s told to “respect the duality” of their organization… hey, that’s the Mercury motto!), and Pretty Boy Ponch only wants to get the job done so he can hop back on his motorcycle and be mopey. CHEER UP, PRETTY BOY!
3) Ray tries to visit his son, but his ex-wife meets him instead, telling him she’s filing for single custody because, “you are a bad person, Ray.” And he’s like, “Is this because I called him a fat pussy in the last episode?” And everyone at the mall turns around and says, “DUH…. YEAH.”
4) Ray and Ani try to get to know each other in their squad car. For example, Ani smokes e-cigs, but Ray lies and tells her she doesn’t look like an idiot. (She does.) Annie returns the lie saying, that her bosses respect his work. (They don’t.) Then they visit Caspere the Pervert Ghost’s old therapist who was wonderfully and creepily played by RICK SPRINGFIELD!!
SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!! I can’t even remember what he said, I was so excited. Doesn’t matter. Thank you, True Detective!
5) Meanwhile, Frankie McGoombah has decided to stop boring everyone with his rat goo story to obsess about how Caspere the Money-Stealing Ghost stole all of his money, and screwed the monorail deal! He receives absolutely no sympathy from Mayor McVinci, and in desperation starts his own investigation. After discovering the locale of Caspere’s second house, he sends Ray (and his mustache) over there to investigate. NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN, I BET!
5a.) It needs to be pointed out that the lady singer/songwriter at the dive bar where Frank and Ray meet IS THE WORST MOST DEPRESSING PERFORMER IN THE WORLD, AND WOULD NEVER BE HIRED ANYWHERE EVER AT ANY TIME. Pick up the tempo, Debbie Downer!
6) Pretty Boy McCHiPs visits his mom in the trailer park and brings her some fried chicken. Freud would say that the fried chicken symbolizes mom’s weird sexual obsession with her son, and her son’s guilt for what they did together and his participation in a “Blackwater”-style security detail in Iraq, where he did some as yet unnamed terrible things, which has caused him more crippling guilt that makes his dick not work, and want to crash his motorcycle. (That’s some fried chicken!)
7) Oh, and according to Freud, Ani’s e-cigarette symbolizes something terrible that happened to her during her time at her dad’s hippie commune, and her fascination/revulsion with hardcore porn. (That Freud’s a smart guy.)
8) LET’S JUST GET TO THE MONEY SHOT, CAN WE? Fine. Ray goes to investigate the second residence of Caspere the Double-Mortgage Paying Ghost, and immediately discovers a big pool of blood and music playing. Better put away your gun, Ray! You won’t need it in this situation! (Eye roll.) He discovers a sex sling hanging from the ceiling, weird animal masks on the walls, a secret video-recording room, and a shotgun-carrying raven pointing a gun at him, and… WHAAAAAA? A SHOTGUN CARRYING RAVEN POINTING A—KA-BLAAAAM!!! Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark. Oh well, he’ll probably survive that, and… KA-BLAAAAM!!! Okay maybe not. Fin.
9) So! Is Ray dead or not dead? (Pro tip: When you murder someone always, always, always put the second bullet in the head. THE MORE YOU KNOW.) I guess we’ll find out next week. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE? I think I’m becoming a True Detective hate-watcher. Everybody is just so laughably depressed, it’s hard to take anyone seriously. Especially when they talk about rat goo. (My condolences if you’ve ever actually gotten rat goo on yourself.) PUT YOUR OPINIONS IN THE COMMENTS, and I’ll see you next week!
- Courtesy HBO
- “Oh I wish that I had JESSIE’S GIRRRLL! You know I want JESSIE’S GIRRRLL!”
My girlfriend noticed that when they were chit chatting with Rick Springfield there was a painting of a Crow Faced man in the office. A clue?
http://www.pajiba.com/assets_c/2015/06/hbo…
1. Lady singer songwriter could have really lightened the mood with a cover of Jesse’s Girl!
2. Paul is totally gay. We’re all clear on that, right? It’s not that his dick doesn’t work. It’s just a divining rod for other dicks.
3. Ray’s not dead. Melisandre will show up and make it all okay. But really. It was nonlethal something or other and they’re either going to kidnap him and torture him, or they’ll dump him in Vinci to send a message. Or maybe the camera was to film it so they can fake his death while holding him somewhere (sympathetic arms, hopefully).
4. Not hate-watching. Had low enough expectations for this season that I’m allowing myself to just enjoy it. Feels ridiculously gritty and noir-y in a Lynch sort of way, and that’s sort of fun. I wish Vaughn was just a better actor. He does okay in some of the schlocky gangster-goes-clean scenes, but that rat goo soliloquy was just way beyond his range.
I also agree that the smoothest cop is closet gay.
I watched this episode while dozing and thought it was great. I recommend this method to everyone.
I’m interested in the idea that the gangster is the only one who really wants to solve the case.
Animal masks!? I would be happy is this was loosely associated with the politician animal mask people from season 1. I’m just going to go write that fan fiction right now because it’s unlikely.
1) On the next on, Colin Farrell’s commanding officer says something about one of his detectives being “shot.” If he were dead, I imagine he would have used the word “killed.” Then again, juggling four characters is already proving difficult, so perhaps Detective Mustache signing off is for the best.
2) Old Riggins is totes gay, though I initially thought the gay bank anecdote was supposed to be a joke considering how it was just dumped into a conversation.
3) Speaking of which, the writing in this show is just plain bad, so much so that I find myself laughing at lines that are in no way intended to be laughed at, “rat goo” speech being exhibit A. And there should be a fart noise every time they call Rachael McAdams “Antigone.”
4) Weird Sex Stuff was obviously a part of the first season storyline, but this season, it seems like they’re doubling down, and for no real reason other than Weird Sex Stuff.
I’ll probably keep watching, because it’s summer and there nothing else on, but after two episodes, it’s pretty trash. It’s all of the shit from Season 1 without any of the gravitas.
Rick Springfield is the best thing about this show even if he’s blatantly channeling Rob Lowe’s character from Behind The Candelabra.
What is Vince Vaughn doing? Is he acting? His intimidation scene was one of the least intimidating things I’ve ever seen.
It’s like he’s fighting the urge to be his snarky character from Old School in every scene.
I’m also learning a ton about women from this show.
Women are pouty-lipped wives with no identity forced to listen to VERY long stories about rodents and fingers. Women are whores or strippers. Women are also scantily-clad mom’s who want to bonk their sons. Women aren’t cops (the lone female cop slot taken up by Rachel McAdams, sorry ladies). But women can get work in government opening up doors for men. Women serve drinks. Women sing mopey songs for drunk men. How do women spend their free time? They wait around the apartment in lingerie for their man to get home and they also hang around the apartment begging their man not to leave.
@TSW: I had a fleeting thought in the first third of the episode: “how fucking great would it be if Brianna Barksdale became a central character?”
Attorney General’s office is clearly trying to build a bigger case against Vinci around this investigation. Would be cool to see her calling the shots. But it’s Pizzolatto, so they’ll probably just have her cry about a boy.
A welcome departure from the current trajectory: Colin Farrell = Ghost Cop
this is a hilarious summation. and i 100% agree with everything you said
D+W:
God, that would be awesome. She was great on The Wire. But it’s hard to even dream small with Pizzalatto. This show’s the Entourage of mediocre melodrama.
@econoline your GF has a good eye. I didn’t notice that.
I’m surprised that I like Colin Farrell the most so far this season. I think his character is probably the most interesting. Vince Vaughn however should never have been cast. For like, anything.