IT WAS CALIFORNIA, 2005. My warehouse employee came over, and he had some Vietnamese baguette sandwiches called banh mi. He’d made an hour-long round trip just to get them.
“What do I owe you?” I asked, picking up one of the cucumber-sized rolls and assessing its delicate deportment.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.”
This was odd, as he was niggardly in all things. I don’t even think he let the barber keep his hair.
“Seriously, how much? This is a nice little sandwich, and I like it.”
“Oh… they’re like $2.75. Put it on my next paycheck; I’d like to see something left of the decimal for a change.”
“Please, do not lie.” I pointed at the inspirational picture of George Washington.
“Seriously, man. They’re cheap.” He pointed at himself.
That afternoon, one of the world’s greatest delicacies was forever burned into my memory, along with the magical, haunting phrase, “They’re cheap.”
Let me backpedal a bit. The trio of ingredients of the basic banh mi are fairly universal: a sweet roll that is both cottony and crisp, pickled vegetables and fresh cilantro, and… a ghastly strip of emulsified hog chine that has been colored by a pinwheel-eyed Juggalo to resemble an eraser. There is often a skid mark of pâté. It is in the skimping of this central protein that the vendor is able to offer his wares for such a humble price, and we—giddy on something beyond the sum of its parts—ignore this obvious transgression. With Double Dragon’s ethically vetted roster of meats and produce, this no longer need be the case, and we may move forward with confidence.
My recent introduction to this lunch-only restaurant came in the form of a friend’s incredulous, “EIGHT BUCKS FOR A BANH MI?! BUT I MIGHT WANT A FAMILY SOME DAY!” Indeed, it seemed relatively high, but I’m used to paying something like that for decent sandwiches in town. Spurred on by my eye-opening early dalliances with this item, I drove down and ordered a #1—described on the menu as “melted pork fat, charred meatiness” ($7.50). A sign behind the cashier warned of the grease, of the nap I would need, and that a Caucasian from New Jersey was prowling about in the kitchen.
The thing looked good. It was nearly twice the size of a conventional banh mi, and weighed in at 11 ounces. A julienne of bright, tender, pickled carrots and yellow-tinted daikon threatened to burst from the roll, and reassuring sprigs of cilantro peeked happily from their bed. A fine, generous chop of dark caramelized pork was apparent, held in place by a glistening, salmon-pink, gently spiced aioli, a sauce not traditionally seen on banh mi. The eyes having eaten, I took the plunge.
At once the balance of vegetables, the deeply, expertly flavored pork, the perfectly sourced roll—all the pickle and salt and fat—came together in harmonized textural bliss. Seasoned potato chips provided an alternating crunch. A crisp ginger beer washed the palate here and there, making for many fresh starts, while their signature beverage is a sweet, milky tea deeply infused with fresh basil, which makes for a beautiful pairing with the herbal character of the sandwich. It is a simple triumvirate, but a ruling one nonetheless, and a complete sketch of happiness.
Perhaps their finest banh mi is the roast duck ($9.50), which has the tender yield of a confit, fragrant with its spicing of orange, clove, ginger, and pepper. The beef and pork meatball banh mi ($7.50) is their most satisfyingly voluminous offering—the meatballs are large and tender, but the sandwich eats well, and nary a dab of moisture will sully your trouser leg. Chopped BBQ chicken ($7.50) was, well, the thing you get if you go around ordering chicken at a pork restaurant: quite nice, but it couldn’t follow the main event, and benefited greatly from the thick five-spice bacon (an excellent but generally unnecessary $1.50 addition to any sandwich). I imagine that the roasted vegetable ($7.50) would as well, but that’s beside the point, and its own meltingly tender eggplant, cauliflower, sweet pepper, and caramelized onion payload is as well constructed and hefty as the meaty versions.
Tender palates fear not: All sandwiches start with a faintly spicy baseline, and can be enhanced to taste with the ubiquitous Sriracha. For those who wish to venture further into the menu, a dark shoyu ramen rich with egg and pork ($8.50), silken roasted carrot coconut soup ($3.25/$4.25), and refreshingly acidic jicama slaw ($2.75) are offered. Beer is available for those who would further tempt Morpheus.
Double Dragon’s product is that rarest of things: a second impression that exceeded the long-ago love at first sight. In the end there was no errant grease, no nap, and no curious New Jerseyan—just a deep, balanced satisfaction at an entirely fair price.
is it blasphemy to ask for a sandwich without cilantro? I don’t like soap in my food, but if it will result in a “no soup for you” moment, I’ll just pick it out.
The “typical Bahn Mi” is definitely not on “sweet roll” or any kind of roll. They’re always on baguettes (including the one in the picture) – a colonial leftover from French Vietnam.
yeah, sweet bread is not typical of any Bánh mì I’ve ever had, in the States or in Vietnam.
AN $8 BANH MI JUST SEEMS RIDICULOUS.
$9.50 BANH MI!?!? HA HA GOOD JOKE.
“There is often a skid mark of pâté”
I’m guessing that you actually didn’t like this place much, to use such a revolting phrase in a food review column. Please never review my restaurant.
“niggardly ?” Dude, wtf is that shit? Seriously, that’s fucked up. It’s like saying ‘jew-y.” That’s not cool.
Not like saying jew-y: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1725/is-niggardly-a-racist-word
If only they were open when I wasn’t always at work – still trying to figure out how they can get by only being open a few hours each day.
@#6
I’m guessing that you didn’t actually read the review much, to misunderstand why the reviewer said that in his food column.
He was talking about the typical, cheap banh mi and the quality that he’s come to expect from them. Anyway, $9.50 for a roasted duck banh mi (especially if the thing is weighing in at almost a pound) sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I can’t recall ever eating duck for less, really.
@6 the point is that that’s not what the reviewed restaurant has, it’s what all other restaurants have in comparison. You probably shouldn’t have your restaurant reviewed in any case due to your vehement illiteracy.
Yikes Chris (#7)…. you REALLY need to look words up before making an unintentionally racist remark. You’re thinking of another word that has nothing to do with the word used in this review. Ouch man. Bet you wish you could delete your comment now. Credit to you in that this word isn’t used much these days (in daily speech), at least not state side. So I don’t think it served well here, which brings me to my point:
I think the food and literary community pumped up Mr. Onstad a bit too much from last week’s stellar review. The “big word” thing has quickly grown tiresome. Very happy to see the review of a great place! But that aside, the editorial was a DISASTER. The first third of the entire review succeeded in making me (and thousands more?) want to stop reading. Which is NOT good for the Merc and it’s advertisers (let alone the restaurant being reviewed). On and on and on…. and on it went…I used to work here, I just discovered Bahn Mi 7 years ago, my co worker was cheap and was all like yes way, then I was all like NO WAY, then he was all like, seriously dude…. yes way……
Then the onslaught of wordy…. well, words. 🙁 I forced myself to trudge forward until finally being rewarded with a decent overview of the sandwiches offered and a desire to try them all. Even a better idea of why these sandwiches deserve to be eight bucks, not $2.50. They’re barely bahn mi as we know the category. They’re as good (?) and as big as Bunk sandwiches at the same prices. So that’s nice.
But all that space could have been used to describe those awesome looking chips on the side, or more about beverage choices (more specifically), etc. Even the decor, which looks cool. Not a history on your old job and how cheap your co worker was.
Please tidy these things up man! You have me devoted last week, this week I’m waning. And I fear others will too. I’d like to see you stay at the Mercury, so don’t give them a reason to question your worth there. We need you.
Thanks!
PtH
PS: Funny that user #8 had to use an urban dictionary to address the word usage issue. You could just look it up in Websters, or google. 2.5 seconds would save the whole embarrassment issue for #7.
#7, my apologies if you actually just meant that you felt it wrong to call the guy “cheap”. It read differently, but thinking about it, you can’t have meant what I thought you were saying. I still disagree about your opinion that it’s racist. But that’s better than the alternative. Guessing this is the case, I, again, apologize for misunderstanding and speaking on the matter.
PtH
*banh mi not bahn mi. I always get that one wrong :-/
I eat at DD occasionally. I work in the area. They’d certainly get more business out of me if they were just a little cheaper. But I don’t eat meat, so my impression is skewed for what I’m getting. The roasted vegetables are quite good w/out aioli. That carrot soup is amazing.
Accurate review. Thanks for posting.
You may be technically correct about the use of the word niggardly. However, who are you trying to kid? This term is ‘good ol’ boy’ grotesque and automatically conjures an ugly, racist image. Im the last guy to jump on the crybaby, PC bandwagon, but in a town with a historically poor racist background regarding minorities, you might have at least used some common sense to avoid this conversation.
Back home, we call these Vietnamese sandwiches.
I am from Vietnam!
Good job, Chris 🙂 Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
to #10 and #11:
Thanks, but I was able to grasp what ‘skid mark’ referred to without reading any further and without your condescending attempts to help.
That kind of expression has no place in a food review unless the reviewer is deliberately trying to trash the place, regardless of whether he was trying to make some kind of (lame) point about how this place was different.
Any editor worth the name would have caught that immediately. Since in this case the review was written by the ‘food editor,’ he either doesn’t do his job well or should have had somebody else proof his work and point things like that out.
I doubt any restaurant owner wants ‘skid mark’ being written in any discussion or article about his restaurant, regardless of the context or how ‘cute’ the writer was trying to be.
I’ll always be reminded of ‘skid mark’ when I think of this place, and I’m likely not the only one.
Poor writing….and worse editing.
#18, well written! And I certainly agree. I’m actually going to make a point to support this awesome restaurant more than I already intended to now. I fear this review will leave the tarnished “image” you’re referring to in many people’s minds. I want them to succeed! So as soon as I can find time in *their* tight schedule (not open very much) I’ll be in line with a ten spot for some grub big enough to feed me for the day.
Side note about hours, I still can’t fathom why they’re open for lunch in a hood that has very little street / biz life during those hours, then they’re randomly closed during late hours when they’d KILL IT with the hordes going to food-less Apex directly across the street. Apex, which specifically encourages people to bring in their own food from neighboring restaurants.
#19 — good for you. If they have good food, I hope they succeed as well, without any extra ‘help’ from this ‘food editor’. I work as an editor as well, and that phrase jumped out immediately…and would have been a huge red flag to any good editor paying attention.
Perhaps the Merc was trying to be ‘edgy’ or whatever…sometimes the Merc and its people are too in love with themselves.
As a new restaurant, there are growing pains…and I’m sure they will figure out how to adjust their hours to the most optimum times to serve customers.
I thought a skid mark was the rubber mark left on the road when a tire skids to a stop. What are you people talking about?
@ 18 “That kind of expression has no place in a food review” (re. skid mark of pate): and you get to determine this how?
Look, go someplace else. You and people complaining about “big words”, just don’t read it if you don’t like it. Maybe one day when you’re a Big Shot editor with a facist leaning you all can fire people who use expressions you don’t think should be used.
Useful and colorful food reviews are hard to come by, which these are. And by the way, I am pretty sure the writer knows what a fucking baguette is, and that it’s the bread, here.
I was taken aback by the use of the term ‘niggardly’. Whether or not its etymology is racist, it unfortunately now has negative connotations. Would you prominently display a swastika sticker on your car and argue that the mandala is an ancient symbol of blah blah blah? Probably not. I have no reason to read these reviews (I live in Boston) except that I enjoy Onstad’s creative turns of phrase. But in this case (and given the context — a food review for a general audience, as opposed to his own comic) I wish an editor had advised him to find another term.
I agree with posts 2-5, but it is not going to prevent me from giving it a try. I have paid much more for items that were ludicrously overpriced given their context. I am going to refrain from commenting on the use of a word (which you probably should understand before going with a knee jerk reaction) other than to say I personally would not have used it and that I agree with Pth on pretty much that posters points.
May I additionally suggest that Mr Onstad review Laurelhurst Market just for you posters who want to read about an establishment that is laughably overpriced?
When it comes to good bahn mi in North Portland. there are two great options that I have tried:
1) Vieng Lao, the asian foods market on Killingsworth and N. Michigan, has delicious meaty bahn mi for 2.25 (they’re packaged up out on 82nd and brought in every day)
2) The Old Gold, also on Killingsworth but a bit more west on N. Gay, serves a vegan tofu bahn mi on vietnamese style baguette for something like $5.
#22: “and you get to determine this how? “
—-
And you get to determine that I am wrong HOW?
And you get to tell me not to read WHY?
Amusing, dude, that you think you can tell people what to do. Blow it out your ass. 🙂
No skidoo, Dude, you’re turning it around: *you* are the one who said the following:
“That kind of expression has no place in a food review unless the reviewer is deliberately trying to trash the place”
It is fairly obvious that you meant you don’t like the use of the term. But your up-in-arms comment is laughable, since it implies that you think you can decide, on a universal basis, what should and should not go into a positive food review. Moreso that you are so squeamish about the phrase many consider excellent (skid mark)
See what I mean now? And, I fart in your general direction, sans skid mark i hope.
Spoolo:
Eh…I’m guessing that if you asked a hundred restaurant owners if they wanted the expression ‘skid mark’ anywhere in a review of their food, over 90% would say not only no, but ‘hell no’. If not a full 100%. That doesn’t take a lot of brain power to grasp…you should be able to get there. Eventually.
Contrary to the statements about the warehouse employee contained in this “article,” driving an hour to buy someone a sandwich sounds like the act of a generous man. Plus he probably needed the hair for a project. He sounds like a wonderful, if misunderstood, handsome man.
Who cares what restaurant owners want? Aren’t food reviews for the enjoyment and edification of those who don’t own restaurant? Cool review
…And commenters, just use a dictionary before you decide to then be offended on behalf of other people who are somehow unable to access that same dictionary.