A DINER IS A PLACE of refuge. For travelers it’s a welcome
waypost that promises rest and soul-satisfying quantities of grease on
the cheap. On Sunday morning it curbs the hunger of a penitent
churchgoer, or relieves the queasy pain of a recalcitrant sinner. A
diner is quintessentially American—its food being as brash,
no-nonsense, and unapologetic as the country it feeds. It’s open late
for the weary and wounded, and knows each regular by name. It’s as
solid and constant as a Formica countertop and as welcoming as a deep
Naugahyde booth. There are no surprises and there’s nothing to improve
upon.
Apparently the crack team of restaurant concept engineers behind the
Original disagrees. They’ve classed up the diner by adding a pinch of
Las Vegas sparkle, sprinkling the menu liberally with lobster, and
doubling the price point of your average greasy spoon. The result is
the “dinerant” (their terminology), a franchise-ready monster with no
soul and little flavor.
The Original bills its food as “evolved Americana cuisine.”
Unfortunately this cuisine has evolved into the culinary equivalent of
a vanity dog—gimmicky, showy, and plagued with problems.
Most items are takes on tried-and-true diner standards. Most miss
the mark. A duck confit hash ($12.75) was both greasy and bland, with
large, overcooked potatoes and a limp mound of Swiss chard that could
have passed for canned spinach. As an added bonus, the dish concealed a
sharp, inch-long duck bone.
The Rueben ($11) was piled with pastrami that was all smoke and no
oink. The thin slices of bread required close inspection to confirm
they were indeed rye and not wheat. The red cabbage was a lovely
thought lost to the smoke and a thick smear of 1,000 Island dressing,
and there was simply no hope for the delicate Gruyere cheese.
It goes on like this, each dish more gimmicky than the last, but all
frustratingly tempting: lobster corn dogs, poutine and foie gras, a
greasy, sickly sweet burger with a Voodoo Doughnut as a bun.
How can you resist the curiosity of a $19.25 bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese?
I couldn’t. I wish I had. Mac ‘n’ cheese only in name, this dish
promised a wonderland of mascarpone, truffle, orzo, and lobster. It
announced itself with an overwhelming smell of fish far before it
reached my table. It was difficult to overcome the ammonia-tinged
scent—it lingered as I chewed the lobster and bland, creamy orzo.
If there was truffle in this dish, I would have needed a pig to root it
out. I’m not in the habit of leaving truffle and lobster on my plate,
but I pushed the bowl aside, half finished.
I’ll give it to the Original: Every plate was packed with food. But
I’d rather have less and better than mass amounts of mediocre. The
open-faced turkey sandwich ($10.75), for instance, was a mountain of
meat, gravy, mashed potatoes, and stuffing on a slice of como bread.
The como was actually buttery and delicious, and the stuffing quite
tasty, but both were lost in the overwhelming tumble of turkey, which
was largely flavorless and squeaky between the teeth.
I’d like to say that the Original nails the basics, but they fall
behind here as well. The burger ($8.95) is mushy, greasy, and bland.
The chicken-fried steak ($10) arrives with an adequate tangy gravy
that’s stymied by a grainy floury texture and a forgettable steak.
Granted, the Original is making an effort. I like the fact they’re
making their own pickles for the burgers—they’re just doing so
poorly. I also appreciate they are using local ingredients—but
the menu is unworthy of the bounty.
In the end, the best thing about the Original is not the attractive
but often absent staff. It’s not the somewhat comfortable booths or the
full bar. It’s the chocolate malted milkshake. This $6 wonder is
luscious and creamy, with just enough sweetness and a big malted depth.
It’s easily shareable and the remainder is brought to the table in the
stainless mixing cup. Bliss.
There’s a reason for this. The milkshake is only one of a few of the
Original’s un-evolved menu items. Much like the American diner, the
chocolate malted is simple, classic, and perfect as it is. The Original
executes it with both style and grace. Now, if only they took that
approach with everything else.
Do you think that they will improve or is it not worth trying in 6 months? The food in the pictures looks good :~ That doesn’t really mean much but it is tempting from the photo…
Too expensive though.
BTW, isn’t the dinerant the concept of the Montage which is really good and has a similar menu?
It sounds like The Original didn’t have the kind or quantity of liquor Mr. Coleman requires to achieve sufficient anesthesia to not be a cantankerous bitch. That’s the only reason I can find for someone criticizing pastrami as “all smoke and no oink.”
That’s because pastrami is generally made from, y’know, beef… what exactly does oink taste like, anyway? This review was over the top.
I don’t know if The Original’s food is any good. I do know what it sounds like when one of the Merc’s reporters throws a hissy fit becase he/she/it doesn’t get enough booze.
jamdox: There was a full bar, and given that I know where PAC drinks on other nights of the week, I expect that that wasn’t the problem. Nice try though.
Actually, Mr. Coleman’s being too generous in his review. Even the concept is madly outdated (popular on the east coast in the ’80’s). “Dinerant” has been in the name of Hunter’s Dinerant in the Fingerlakes region of NY for some 30+ years.
Heading up the “crackerjack team” (I suspect this was meant facetiously) of Sage Restaurants is Peter Karpinski. One has to wonder how he obtained his position since he is A) young (32 or so, I believe) and B) madly inexperienced. Prior to ascending to his lofty position, he worked for the Starr Group for 5 months, when he was fired. That’s his entire industry resume. Most busboys have more restaurant experience than that.
I have nothing against youth, young turks or new ideas, except in his case there isn’t any of that, either. All his concepts are dated rip offs of existing Starr Group venues. Mind you, I’d LOVE to have his job—I’m just still trying to figure out how he got it (and keeps it).
Oh–also! The milkshake/extra in the mixer thing. Freakin’ Disney World has done that for nine billion years at their 50’s Diner Place at Disney Studios Park. Except it’s actually FUN to go there.
Zumpie: What does Karpinski’s experience have to do with anything that’s relevant in this article?
Getting back to the point… I’ve eaten at The Original about 5 times. I love the atmosphere and the decor is very detailed. I can feel the time and effort spent on making such a beautiful space every time I walk through the doors. It’s far from the tackiness of Las Vegas- that is a huge misjudgment on Mr. Coleman’s part.
The prices may be a little over the top- but it’s not like it’s the only place in town charging too much. I don’t mind because: They have GREAT cocktails, always a full bar; their desserts taste home made by my grandmother, and the service is excellent! Every time I’ve been in I’ve had a great server/bartender. Even though it’s a corporate place, I feel like the people are down to earth and that they might actually love what they do. Compared to other places in town with rude ass people running the show.
Maybe the food was not TOP NOTCH for Mr. Coleman- but it’s a new place. Give it some time to come into its own. I’ve already found some menu items that keep me coming back! Besides having $1.00 PBR, I love the home made pop tarts (apple cheddar bacon- I believe), the BLAT sandwich, the Scotch egg, lobster corn dog 🙂 I’ve also had the Lobster Mac that Mr. Coleman was so disgusted by- I loved it! Maybe you just caught them on a bad night? I can’t imagine that everything was as horrible as he stated in his review- in my experience that has not been the case.
Anyway- I like this restaurant and I can see it only getting better with time. Everyone deserves a second chance but The Original hasn’t let me down yet.
I liked it. I had the grilled cheese on como bread. It was tasty. The fries were average, but came in a cute paper bag so I forgave it. I also had the punch of the day. Outrageously good. My friend had the veggie burger. Homemade and tasty it had hints of garbanzo and quinoa. I can dig. Maybe there is a reason you shouldn’t buy $20 mac n cheese…
Maybe you should stick to more basic things. I don’t know about the burger but the grilled cheese was outstanding. The como bread and mix of cheese was delicious. I will admit the fries are average but they came in a cute little paper bag that almost made up for it. My cohort had the veggie burger…homemade and tasted of quinoa and garbanzo beans. Yum! I also had the daily punch. One word, “awesome.” Maybe you shouldn’t buy $20 mac n’ cheese…that just sounds like a disappointment waiting to happen.
Zumpie: From what I’ve heard Peter Karpinski actually got his start as a busboy when he was young, and worked his way up in the restaurant/hospitality industry until he had the capital to found the Colorado-based Sage Restaurant Group (of which he’s the CEO).
Actually, as a former food critic (http://www.spokane7.com/blogs/taste/), my instinct to bother to check facts inspired me to do some research before posting this. You can read all about his industry experience here: http://www.sagehospitality.com/sage/karpin…
As for the review, well, it sounds to me like the writer was spending too much effort going after an interesting read (and maybe even getting off on being mean-spirited), rather than on delivering an honest, constructive critique served with a modicum of poise.
I’ve been there half-a-dozen times; I’m familiar with the food. I know there are enough stellar menu items to have merited a balanced review.
But why do them that justice? I mean, that would have made the Merc waste that great headline.
I went in with a colleague for a late morning breakfast. The place was pretty empty, the menu long and overwhelming and service was distracted. I had to ask twice for a glass of water.
I had a basic omlet and it was mediocre to bad. Nothing on the plate was good. I would say The Original is a lot of concept and with no talent or intelligence to back it up.
They have already laid off a number of staff. Maybe it will survive due to hotel guests not knowing any better but it surely is a disaster.
Great review. Thanks.
That place has been panned by anybody in town with ANY knowledge of food. But Byron Beck liked it.
I love this review.
The Original is a passable happy hour spot, as long as you keep to the cheaper menu items (punch of the day and so-called “poutine” and fries) and don’t expect too much.
My impression has been that it’s all hat and little to no cattle – a perfect metaphor was when one of the Eames knock-off chairs at the table next to us broke under a patron. It looks pretty, but doesn’t hold up.
I’m inclined to take your “review” with a “grain of salt.” You seem to take the word “critic” to mean you must be critical. Or perhaps it’s just the attitude of a guy working for peanuts (and reimbursed meals) at a free rag in a small town. While I would not disagree with your definition of the “classic” diner, that’s not what they are trying for, is it? The hotel could have leased the space to Denny’s or IHOP, I suppose.
I’ve only been to the Original once, we tried three dishes, and I found them to be interesting and “original.”
Too much of the PDX restaurant scheme is “all the same”. The city won’t grow as a culinary destination without expermentation. Some experments will fail, but from them will rise innovation, excitement, and new.
Lighten up.
been there. It’s actually not really worth going. It’s predictable for them to tweak the norm in the way that they do, and that’s what I find boring about the place.
Instead of focusing on their single establishment the dollar signs interupted their view of quality and originality.
TBatteries, for someone whose food critic experience was relagated to his own blog (doesn’t that make everyone a food critic?), you’re mighty pompous. I’d hardly call linking Karpinski’s official, PR sanitized bio on Sage’s corporate “research”.
Since SAge hospitaltiy has been around for some time, he didn’t exactly “found” it, just heads the restaurant division—which thus far has received some quite weak press, across the country. Not sure why you’re such an apologist for The Original/Sage/Karpinski, though…perhaps your pompousness was merely a screen for your real job, as shill????
Yeah, OK. Over priced yuppie diarrhea masquerading as good diner food. Folks, Denny’s nailed it, why go anywhere else?
For fuck’s sake, what chance does a resturant in this town stand of making a resturant reviewer shit his pants out of sheer delight. Let’s bring it back to reality. Like every resturant that opens up has to top the one that opened last week. The food is very eatable. The happy hour is cheap and better that the typical happy hour bar food. But most importantly what seems to go unnoticed and is very rare for Portland, the service is excellent, very responsive staff and friendly. I used to think, “damn, everyone that works here has a crush on me” then I realized, it’s just been a long time since I stumbled into a place that the staff was actually friendly. One thing I would request is IPAs on the happy hour menu. Fuck you haters, get a life, pick on a resturant that deserves it.
Kip, How do you get the $ to eat in all these places? Since you seem to HATE every everything you eat anyway, why don’t you use the money you waste eating to refund deposits on your rental “houses” or pay your mortgages instead?
jksville
service is what it’s suppose to be. I won’t kiss ass to a restaurant that demands that their employees do their jobs.
Also, some of the over done smiles are their ways of ensuring tips, but i’ll bite.