Keep Smiling

IF ONE WERE TO JUDGE restaurants by the same measure as
beauty pageant contestants, the Hobnob Grille would be a shoe-in for
Miss Congeniality. A block north of Belmont on 33rd, it’s a lovely,
clean restaurant with an attractive border of large windows for optimal
neighborhood watching, staffed by an incredibly likeable crew.

In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to suggest they provide
some of the friendliest service in town. Case in point: Their website
suggests you’ll receive a wink and a smile “every time you step through
our door,” but I was startled to actually receive a wink and a
smile on my first visit. Beyond that, I believe the goodwill is
genuine. The smiles are real, as is the laidback humor, the small talk,
and the concern over the quality of your experience.

But there’s the rub. How can you look into those smiling faces and
tell them that even though you’re enjoying how the bright, tart blue
cheese dressing on your iceberg wedge is balanced by the chewy bits of
bacon, you just can’t deal with the rusty, discolored leaves on the
outside? What is the nicest way possible to explain that the Philly
cheese steak is too dry? Or that the baseball sirloin is medium well on
one side, and medium rare on the other?

This is not meant to be patronizing. It’s an honest question, one I
think most would confront with a silent nod and a thumbs up, only to
then look despairingly at their dinner partner. Sure, you’ll come back
one day, if only for a cocktail and good company at a refuge just far
enough from the drunken hipster idiocy one block south.

But not for the food. Consider the confused gravy that came with the
pan-fried chicken. It arrived at the table looking dry and congealed. A
good stir with a fork helped matters, but a French fry dipped into the
floury mass came out dry. To make matters worse, the chicken was
overcooked on the outside, leaving a hard crust that should have been
just crisp. The accompanying broccoli was unseasoned and lukewarm, and
the entrée’s $15 price tag completely unjustified.

I suspect that Hobnob is struggling to time their orders. The issues
with dryness and doneness smack of a chef firing orders too early and
keeping them warm while waiting for others to finish. This could be the
key to some of their trouble.

I believe in the creativity of the Hobnob Grille—a mini-burger
decked out in chipotle aioli and sun-dried tomato was spot-on if a bit
overdone, and a flatbread appetizer with sharp cheddar, caramelized
onions, and red pepper was very good—but they’re stymied by
execution. For instance, I’d like to see them make the leap to add a
few anchovies to the focaccia crouton-wrapped romaine, and go ahead and
call it a Caesar salad. The large circular crouton in the center of the
salad is a nice trick, but without the salty tones of anchovy, it just
tastes like a stand-in that missed the mark.

I respect the effort, but in the end effort without payoff leaves a
bad taste in the mouth. Still, I commend Hobnob Grille for their
service. I’ll take a wink over an exasperated sigh any day. I just hope
someday soon the food will match the smiles.