If classical music can supposedly make you smarter, doesn’t it stand to reason that other genres can make you stupid? I’m talking about that mind-blowing STUPID music called Ranchero. Dear fucking Lord, is there any music more annoying than Ranchero? It sounds like the fucking circus has come to town. I have neighbors across the street that insist on playing that shit at random hours of the fucking day. And let me tell ya, they don’t appear to be the brightest bulbs. One of them took a piss on their driveway last week, because apparently the bathroom was too far. Trash and debris littered about their yard, yet their chrome plated trucks couldn’t be shinier. They don’t appear to have enough brain cells to rub together so that they can form any kind of thought process as to why NO ONE else on the block plays their music that loud. I mean, it’s pretty bad when people can tell you’re stupid just by looking at you. Dumb loves loud music, for it feeds some simple urge that lays within. That, and pissing on the driveway…like we all wanted to see your small penis, you fucking circus pig. Fuck!

9 replies on “Ranchero Music Makes You Stupid”

  3. You’re supposed to start a rant like this with: “I’m not racist, but…” and end it with “…I have Latino friends, though, really.”

  6. What makes you say this I,A has anything in common with the examples in the article you linked? A public forum where any idiot can rant, just ’cause it’s on the Merc site, is in the same precise realm as Zooey Deschanel’s Twitter feed or something? And why are acoustic covers of hip-hop songs racist? Black and white musicians have been doing versions of each other’s music for eons, and nowadays there are covers of everything in pretty much every musical style.

    Lots of half-baked sloppy, even hypocritical opinions there from Lindy, though I agree completely with some of her examples (Lesley Arfin, Stuff White People Like).

  7. Mostly just that “ironic racist” describes about 88.6% of Merc writers and commenters (and Portland dipsters in general) and this seemed like as good place as any to drop the link. Nobody to whom it applies would agree with it, of course; that just goes without saying.

  8. I don’t know what a “dipster” is, or what any of this has to do with Portland specifically, or where you see that much irony+racism in most of what’s printed here, but oh well… I’ll admit there’s a lot I don’t know.

  9. Better yet: even if you can’t actually find any ironic racism going on around these threads, it has been established in advance that if you deny it, it’s because you are one. Tidy!

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