INTERSEX--Are you intersex (someone born with neither male or female genitalia)? Do you know someone who is? Are you curious about it? Come hear intersex activist Emi Koyama describe what's going on in the political intersex battlefield. KD
In Other Words Bookstore, 3734 SE Hawthorne Blvd, 232-6003, 7 pm, free
ART--If you doubt connections between art and life, you should subject yourself to a bombardment of flashing light bulbs and ominous-sounding phrases like "airplane seat assignment" at the Savage Gallery. Pete McCracken and Jeremy Bitterman have collaborated on an installment geared towards explaining how random events (think flat tire) change the course of one's life. Try not to let random events change the course of your ass on your way there. MS
Savage Gallery, 416 NW 10th, 223-2868, through Sept. 15, Open 10-6 pm
FRIDAY AUGUST 24
GAMING--PC gamers, it's time to strut your stuff at the Million Man LAN, the Northwest's largest LAN party. Compete singly or with a team in challenging computer games like Quake III, Counter-Strike, Unreal Tournament and more! For further info on system requirements, check out www.mml2k.com. Then limber up those fingers and get your geek-freak on! WSH
Holiday Inn, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd, www.mml2k.com, noon, $30 signup fee
REAL JAZZ--I know there is a stigma against independent rockers doing free jazz, and that's understandable. But when Chicago's HIM pulls a crazy drum or sax solo live, the party bumps and you cannot call it ironic. Instead, you'll call it young people with an ass-load of potential. JS
w/ FCS North Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, $8
SATURDAY AUGUST 25
BOOZY BENEFIT--Like the Oregon Humane Society? WHO DON'T?? Then shell out seven for this great cause, and have a hoot 'n' hollerin' good time at the Night of a Thousand Stars, sponsored by P-townies fave drinking rag, Barfly. On deck will be the sing-a-long stylings of Karaoke from Hell, hotsy-totsy hula-hooping dance steps from Thee Denyce, and the back to the future cross-dressing palmistry of Super Frida. Plus drinking, games, drinking, and more! WSH
Hawthorne Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 813-9999, 9 pm, $7
MUSIC--Hey! What have those gals at the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls been doing all week? Trot down to the Meow Meow tonight to see the girls play in front of a live audience, along with the All-Girl Summer Fun Band and special surprise guests! WSH
Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 8 pm, $5
SUNDAY AUGUST 26
COUNTY FAIR--The last time I went to a hypnotist, I watched my best friend become convinced he was a chicken! It was the type of shameful public performance that time can never erase. Four stage performances today from the kind of hypnotist only a county fair can provide. If that's not enough entertainment for your jaded hipster ass, how about the Spam recipe cook-off or the microwave-a-potato contest? PB
County Fair Grounds, 2330 17th St, Salem (west off I-5 exit 256), (503) 947-3247, Aug 23-Sept 3,10 am-9 pm, $7
All-Adult Soapbox Derby, Mt. Tabor, Noon, free
MONDAY AUGUST 27
MUSIC--If Sid Vicious and Patsy Cline were ever to have a lovechild (god bless), it would be Neko Case. The barbed-voiced cow-punk returns for a not-to-be missed intimate show. (Cross my heart, hope to die: Miss this show and I'll personally kick your ass!) PB
Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $8-10
AGONY OF DORKINESS--Du-Huu-Huuude! It's Sheila E.! And Howard "What is Love?" Jones! And the guy from Mott the Hoople, and Greg Lake from King Crimson/Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and Roger Hodgson from Supertramp/Yes! OH MY GOD! Only... they're playing in a band with... Ringo...Starr? Arghh! JS
Schnitzer, 1037 SW Broadway, 224-TIXX, 7:30 pm, $35-55
TUESDAY AUGUST 28
ZINES--You know what I think of when I think of zines? Gremlins. Dump a little water on them or, in this case, ink, and you have tons of furballs in virtually no time. Of course, I'm thinking of the cute lovable gremlins, not the evil ones. Get ideas on how to find your informative little friend (and I'm talking about zines, not gremlins) a home. KS
Independent Publishing Resource Center, 917 SW Oak St, 232-5673, 7-9 pm, $5-7
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 29
METAL--What's better than hot mammas and beer? Hot mammas, beer, and heavy metal. It's like you've died and gone to a perfect heaven (although I think mine would include Benicio clones). Metal heads, don't hide your face under your butt rock hair, come out to the Satyricon, watch the ladies spin the classics, and prove that METAL WILL NEVER DIE! KS
Satyricon, 125 NW 6 th Ave, 243-2380, 9 pm, free
