No really, look, this letter addressed to “Sara Mirk, The Jerk” arrived yesterday.

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Please note:

American flag upside down: The human race is in distress.
  • American flag upside down: The human race is in distress.
The human race is slightly paranoid.
  • The human race is slightly paranoid.
The human race is sloppy; they cant spell my name right.
  • The human race is sloppy; they can’t spell my name right.

So, what is it the human race wants to say? The envelope contained a one-page letter, folded three times, with a sploch of mud at the top. The letter is just typed out links and chunks of various news articles relating to marijuana, including: a couple paragraphs about Measure 74, a 1997 Oregonian piece about then-governor Kitzhaber signing off on state legislation that briefly recriminalized small amounts of marijuana, a few sentences from a January 2010 Salem News.com post about Bill Bradbury supporting industrial hemp, and several other sections of articles about Kitz opposing legalization.

Given these puzzle pieces, I think we can deduce three things: the human race is mad at John Kitzhaber, the human race is maybe mad at us for not endorsing Measure 74, and the human race is stoned off its ass.

Sarah Shay Mirk reported on transportation, sex and gender issues, and politics at the Mercury from 2008-2013. They have gone on to make many things, including countless comics and several books.

11 replies on “The Human Race Wrote Me a Letter.”

  1. Are you sure that isn’t from “The Humar Race,” a small group of immortal energy beings who live in the basement of a rambling old farmhouse in Cully? You must’ve really pissed them off, because they’re usually quite friendly.

  6. I wonder what that race is gonna send you as a letter when the LSD or the cocaine legalization comes along. Ray Bradbury is a trip. Why someone would be mad at him???

  7. Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very, very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm.
    Mark Twain – Letters from the Earth (posthumous)

  8. Sarah, remember that this person is evil. This is obvious on the fact that he addressed it to “Sara” and not “Sarah.” And everyone knows that Sara’s without an H are truly, truly evil. The Human Race’s type indicates they are evil.

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