A couple months back I warned you of the threat posed by noodle robots. And yet you did nothing to protect yourself. Well, things are getting worse.

Not only are robots making noodles to fatten us up, they're now able to slowly and awkwardly cut cucumbers into random sized slices. Holy shit.

You can't watch him remove that knife from the rack without peeing yourself. Terrifying.

But they aren't just cutting cukes and pouring pudding on them, ROBOTS ARE HERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

ToyTalk is working on a new toy for kids who already have iPads but for some reason would rather play with robotic-voiced teddy bears.

More important question, WHY IS SHE DOING HER HOMEWORK WITH A GIGANTIC PENCIL? Probably because the evil teddy bear bot made her. "Use a big pencil for your homework, Sally. Play with me, Sally. Kill your parents and use their blood to lubricate my robot joints, Sally." There's no other explanation.

Stay away from me, robots. Take your giant pencils and your poorly sliced salads and go back to robot planet.