Today started off TERRIBLE! But now? Everything is better. Why? Because, thanks to this video by Ze Frank, I now know where I stand in the universe… and it’s all thanks to Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is ultimately responsible for everything in the universe, because… Morgan Freeman. For example, “Morgan Freeman doesn’t have sex. When he smiles a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens.” Want to learn more about Morgan Freeman, and his role in/as the universe? Morgan Freeman this Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman.
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Is this the new touchy-feely version of the old Chuck Norris jokes?