Attention anyone who has never punched a clock and worked long, stressful hours in a kitchen, here are a few tips for dining out. If you don’t know what you want, grab a menu and step away from the counter so someone who IS ready can go ahead of you. If you are allergic to 95 percent of the ingredients commonly found in food, learn to cook at home. If you are in a hurry, use that fantastic new invention called the telephone and place your order before you come in. Standing there giving the cooks dirty looks will NOT make your order come out faster. In fact, we will find out what you ordered and move it to the back of the line. Some things take longer to cook than others, it is not our fault that you ordered 6 pain in the ass things and the guy who ordered 1 simple thing after you got his food first. And most importantly, recognize that daycare center and restaurant are totally different things. If your brats are running laps around the dining room while you sit in the corner drinking beer and ignoring them, they WILL get a bowl of hot soup spilled all over them. Just because school is out for thanksgiving break does not mean it is OK to occupy our dining room for 3 hours with your stupid doublewide sport utility strollers blocking every possible path through the place. -Anonymous
Dining Out for Dummies
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So the name of your restaurant is “Simple Things, Pain in the Ass Things”? Catchy!
Here’s a tip for arrogant a-holes with restaurants: Why don’t you put those menus a few feet away from the counter? Then polite people won’t have to reach around people — though that could be pleasant — or wait till they’re at the counter to grab a menu. Talk about something simple almost no restaurant has ever thought to do.
The scourge of breeders, making life miserable for the REST of us!
You should hire the bartender who hates to take plastic. He would fit in well at your place!