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Thursday, February 2, 2012

To Local Photographers and Wanna-Bes with Phones

Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 3:20 PM

ALL OF YOU. STOP DOING THESE THINGS.

1. Photographing bands looking out the window contemplatively. "Oh I didn't see you Mr. Photographer I was gazing out at the sunset contemplating my next ridiculously awful acoustic song a la the angry chick in Say Anything." THIS ALSO GOES FOR BANDS STARING AT THE CAMERA IN AN IRONIC LOCATION.

2. "Fashion" and craft blogs. "Oh you're taking a photo? I'm just gazing to the left with my right leg bent a little bit. I didn't realize my outfit was so nice!" That goes for toes inward too you fucking idiots.

3. Sepia toned iphone photos. THIS IS SELF EXPLANATORY.

4. Oh so hilarious signs. Like Bill Murray. Come on now. Post no bills is funny. That's just fucking stupid. Looking at you COURTNEY FERGUSON

4. Photos of hilarious Portland bikes/cats/dogs/dudes/whatever. No one cares Jesus Fucking Christ.

You are not photographers. This is not artistic. Get a job you fucking hobos and stop inflicting your eye horror on the rest of us.
*99% of this is directed at you Mercury Staff. But you are not alone.

 

Comments (39) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
DID YOU JUST TELL THE EMPLOYEES OF THE MERCURY TO GO GET A JOB? I'M CHECKING BECAUSE YOU SEEM A BIT CONFUSED.
Posted by Graham on February 2, 2012 at 3:34 PM · Report
2
Wow, two IAs in a row directed at Courtney. Not her day. Not her day at all.
Posted by ($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on February 2, 2012 at 3:37 PM · Report
3
http://imgur.com/tCp90.gif
Posted by Commenty Colin on February 2, 2012 at 3:43 PM · Report
4
I care about pics of bikes and cats and whatever when I'm wasting time on the internet to distract myself from my job. I care (and I'm writing "I" in all caps for emphasis!)

No one is inflicting anything on you. If you hate the site that much and see a need for something that isn't being done, then you go out and do it.
Posted by geyser on February 2, 2012 at 3:44 PM · Report
5
You forgot hipstamatic. And vignetting.
Posted by Steve R. on February 2, 2012 at 3:47 PM · Report
6
The best part: Alison Hallett actually took that picture. Sure, I was photo directing, but still.
Posted by Courtney Ferguson on February 2, 2012 at 3:53 PM · Report
7
@Graham I think that's a fair assessment.
Posted by tcraighenry on February 2, 2012 at 3:55 PM · Report
8
@Courtney I think you buttmad
Posted by tcraighenry on February 2, 2012 at 3:58 PM · Report
9
I think the show just got stopped.
Posted by Fruit Cup on February 2, 2012 at 4:15 PM · Report
10
http://i.imgur.com/qXhag.gif
Posted by Never Alone on February 2, 2012 at 5:41 PM · Report
11
I think the Cup just got Fruited ( can that happen? )
Posted by iceprez on February 2, 2012 at 6:02 PM · Report
12
oh shit.
Posted by Leaky on February 2, 2012 at 6:40 PM · Report
13
u mad
Posted by ebag on February 2, 2012 at 8:53 PM · Report
14
nope, but I sense drama or something more upscale.
Posted by Leaky on February 2, 2012 at 9:34 PM · Report
15
Absolutely! How do you think the fruit gets in the cup?
Posted by Fruit Cup on February 2, 2012 at 10:16 PM · Report
16
Ha ha. On the right of this is a photo from William Ross fashion photography where the model has the look to the side with leg bent pose.

Amazing
Posted by tcraighenry on February 2, 2012 at 11:04 PM · Report
17
Looks like Clif weighs a Ton and Killed Kali.
Posted by Geo Liquor on February 2, 2012 at 11:10 PM · Report
18
I like cats. When I walk down the street cats see me and know I'm a cat person. They all want to hear "hey, kitty!" so they'll come up to me for those magic words.

If I see a photo of a cat I'll usually like that too. Unless it's one of those cats that almost looks like a dog. For awhile I thought Emma Stone was a cat that looked like a dog.
Posted by Eric in SE on February 2, 2012 at 11:56 PM · Report
19
"Looks like Clif weighs a Ton and Killed Kali."

Nice to see you're thinking about me even when i'm not here.
Posted by DamosA on February 3, 2012 at 2:59 AM · Report
20
Oh god DamosaA. I have something to tell you and there's not enough caps lock in the world.

NO1FUCKINGCURR
Posted by tcraighenry on February 3, 2012 at 8:40 AM · Report
21
U mad?
Posted by ($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on February 3, 2012 at 10:45 AM · Report
22
The OP forgot to mention black and white photos of pregnant people.
Posted by Fruit Cup on February 3, 2012 at 12:10 PM · Report
23
Allison is in on the action today. So trolled Merc. So very trolled.
Posted by tcraighenry on February 3, 2012 at 12:19 PM · Report
24
more photos of cats in sweaters doing weird things plz. Posing cats count too, or relating to other animals specially small monkeys.
Posted by Leaky on February 3, 2012 at 3:05 PM · Report
25
You're lucky they even posted Photos for you BASTARDS! LEAVE COURTNEY ALONE! Damn, I thought I got worked up over trivial issues (I am usually joking, although the oh so clever posters on here don't get it), I feel that you Anon should move on! hey, that rhymes! you should use that as you're mantra.
You're welcome
Posted by The Showstopper on February 3, 2012 at 4:07 PM · Report
26
I uh. What @25
Posted by tcraighenry on February 3, 2012 at 4:51 PM · Report
27
So like, is everyone here complaining about, photos or something?
Posted by DamosA on February 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM · Report
28
oh this is funny stuff, how i miss Portland.
Posted by gypsysojourner on February 4, 2012 at 11:50 AM · Report
29
"So like, is everyone here complaining about, photos or something?"


Look you fuckin hippie, put down the bong and read the thread your own damn self. Fyi, you lazy man!
Posted by Geo Liquor on February 4, 2012 at 12:55 PM · Report
30
#27, yeah, what a bunch of whiners aren't they?

There also like, complaining, about the fat mother scenario. If your mother is fat, most likely by the age you hit 35, you will start to get crazy fat, and that doesn't go well with the photos.
Posted by Leaky on February 4, 2012 at 3:38 PM · Report
31
Hey, it's my TWO BIGGEST FANS, right on que!
Posted by DamosA on February 5, 2012 at 5:57 AM · Report
32
"queue".....what you have been posting is spanish for "what".
You're welcome.
Now get your dumb ass back to community college, "aright"
Posted by The Showstopper on February 5, 2012 at 12:24 PM · Report
33
Glad to see you taking precious time out of [what i'm sure is] your very busy life, just to pay attention to my grammar. It brings me joy to know that my words command soo much of your attention.
Posted by DamosA on February 5, 2012 at 8:50 PM · Report
34
#33: am pretty sure it's the other way around.
Posted by Leaky on February 6, 2012 at 8:22 AM · Report
35
@31 and @32

It is actually "cue" as in a stage cue. Pretty fuckin' basic.
Posted by Broken registration on February 6, 2012 at 10:52 AM · Report
36
@35...good point, I was a little confused by the apparent Spanglish.
Posted by The Showstopper on February 6, 2012 at 3:33 PM · Report
37
No actually, "que" is also correct.
Posted by DamosA on February 6, 2012 at 4:07 PM · Report
38
Cue?
Posted by disastronaut on February 6, 2012 at 4:47 PM · Report
39
No actually it is'nt. Idiot
Posted by The Showstopper on February 7, 2012 at 2:05 PM · Report

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