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Thursday, February 2, 2012

To Local Photographers and Wanna-Bes with Phones

Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 3:20 PM


1. Photographing bands looking out the window contemplatively. "Oh I didn't see you Mr. Photographer I was gazing out at the sunset contemplating my next ridiculously awful acoustic song a la the angry chick in Say Anything." THIS ALSO GOES FOR BANDS STARING AT THE CAMERA IN AN IRONIC LOCATION.

2. "Fashion" and craft blogs. "Oh you're taking a photo? I'm just gazing to the left with my right leg bent a little bit. I didn't realize my outfit was so nice!" That goes for toes inward too you fucking idiots.

3. Sepia toned iphone photos. THIS IS SELF EXPLANATORY.

4. Oh so hilarious signs. Like Bill Murray. Come on now. Post no bills is funny. That's just fucking stupid. Looking at you COURTNEY FERGUSON

4. Photos of hilarious Portland bikes/cats/dogs/dudes/whatever. No one cares Jesus Fucking Christ.

You are not photographers. This is not artistic. Get a job you fucking hobos and stop inflicting your eye horror on the rest of us.
*99% of this is directed at you Mercury Staff. But you are not alone.

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