I know a lot of you moved here because it’s so ~pretty~ and green and you can hike with your pretty REI boots and oh man take the Subaru up a real mountain! So very awesome!
But it would have been better for you to pay attention in your science classes and understand what all that pretty mountainy shit is about.
They’re volcanoes you dumbasses. ACTIVE volcanoes. THE ONE WITH THE FLAT TOP ACTUALLY ERUPTED IN RECENT HISTORY.
Do you know how volcanoes are formed? Plate tectonics. Like oh, subduction zones! THESE THINGS CAUSE EARTHQUAKES. GIANT PLATES MOVING TOGETHER THAT CREATE FRICTION AND QUAKE THE EARTH. LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE. THAT IS WHY IT IS CALLED THAT. THERE ARE COLORING BOOKS THAT WILL HELP YOU.
I know you were happy to leave snow or tornadoes or whatever middle state problems you had before but you gotta understand, all that Oregon prettiness comes with a price. Some day we’re all going to be buried in ash or thrown into the ocean. And that’s going to be far worse than seeing a bunch of tract houses thrown in the sky in Tornado Central, Middle State. So strap on those hiking boots and put your rescue pitbull in the Subaru and enjoy it before you die.
Also, stop freaking out and get your emergency food and guns ready because god knows poorly shot newscasts and crappy blog posts aren’t going to help.
Also, also: STOP DOING STUPID SHIT IN WATER AND ON THE MOUNTAINS THAT CAUSES DEATH. THANK YOU.
(Looking at you Mercury and local news.)
Nobody likes a snide geologist.
Guarantee that this person also moved here from somewhere else.
Have a little meth with your Wheaties this morning?
Will your next post be: “Water: that shit can kill you!” ?
I,A wrote; “STOP DOING STUPID SHIT IN WATER AND ON THE MOUNTAINS THAT CAUSES DEATH.”
Please, I sincerely hope these stupid people will not stop doing all the things that can cause them to die. Yay, for darwinism.
Hahahahahahahaha! Bustin’ a gut here ya’ll.
Having lived around the the U.S., Europe, and Asia, I prefer the climate in the Willamette Valley. It gets cold, but not for long. It gets hot, but not for long. It doesn’t get hot and humid like the topics or freezing like northern Europe. We don’t get tornadoes like the Midwest or hurricanes like the east coast. It rains, but nothing like the tropics.
I think I’ll take my chances with the volcanoes.
“stop freaking out and get your emergency food and guns ready?”
“Everyone has the right to eat whatever diet they want to.”
@Jake, you too? As for anon, I don’t know if knowing the basics of plate tectonic’s makes one a geologist. Sounds to me like another Mensa who has gotten sucked up in this ridiculous earthquake scare. Yeah, one could happen next year :or next century. These events are NOT predictable, if they were it would make them easier to plan for,no? Simply because certain events occur in the historical record within a certain time range does NOT mean you can pinpoint when one is due (at least not in very accurate terms). Yes, there are indicators, but using that type of deduction we are going to get hit by a big ass asteroid fairly soon. That will take away your need to worry about the Portland earthquake as you will likely be under about 100 ft of ocean
I love these doomsday posts.
You’ve convinced me, Anon, I’m gonna spend my 401K at Devil’s Point.
Whoops, they just kicked me out, because I asked “How much for bloviation?”
Nothing wrong with a little emergency food and some guns. Really.
Todd @12: Best idea I’ve heard all week.
FUNNY… CUZ WATER THESE DAYS HAS PRETTY HIGH LEVELS OF CRYPTOSPORIDIUM IN IT WHICH CERTAINLY DOESN’T DO A BODY GOOD. BUT HEY, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ITS NOTHIN LIKE THE LEVELS IN THE WATER THE CLOSER YOU GET TO CHERNOBYL
DOJ, keep a keen eye on eastside. He’s stock-piling weapons.
DOJ=Damosa Offers Jerkoffs
WOW. I beat it took you all night to come up with that one, *unregistered comment, huh?
I beat it took you long to bet off
“I beat it took you long to bet off”
Ok, this sentence doesn’t even make any sense. Man, you really DO need writing classes, don’t you?
ANGER WOLF