Dear Slow People! Hurry the fuck up! Get on the fucking bus. Get off the bus. Get up before your stop and head for the door. The drivers in Portland are ridiculously polite compared to any other city, and it’s part of why the busses are ALWAYS FUCKING LATE. If you assholes would hop on and grab a railing (it’s what they’re there for) I might make it to work on time, just once.

42 replies on “Slow, Whiny Bus Passengers”

  1. lol gross. who rides tri-meth these days aside from fat, scary call center employees from the burbs? get a bike and stop being so angry yo

  3. I ride the bus and max occasionally, and I do yoga everyday and tai chi two days a week, so this notion that people that ride tri-met are fat is completely unfounded. I’m sure I’m not the only person and I’ve seen insanely attractive people on trimet also, there’s a very hot trimet female driver that used to drive the 19 bus.

    @arenit You’re an idiot, though I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this to you.

  4. Many people who use Tri-Met DO tend to be slow, though. Some of these folks block the aisle, fumble around with change, carry on babbling conversations with the driver, etc. Some don’t seem to know where exactly they’re going or even what bus the’re on. And it’s even worse when ever a group of retarded people or herd of small school kids gets on.

    And Hell forbid a morbidly obese person in a motorized wheelchair wants to board – man, you’ll be waiting for a few minutes for sure. Some of these folks just need to stay home, stay at the group home, or something. Damn.

  7. @ I,A and Damosa:

    yes, fatties and ‘tards and talkers and goddamn kids and meth fucks and call center employees, and even the occasional hotties, are all annoying to varying degrees when they aren’t exercising consideration or forethought on the bus…..but, if someone doesn’t feel safe moving about when the bus is still in motion, we just have to wait — not everybody is all ‘mr. or ms. perfect fucking balance’, you know…..

    if the motorized fatties, et al. cause you to be late regularly, perhaps then you should simply take the bus that leaves 17.4 minutes earlier — then your ride would be much less stressful and you could enjoy the spectacle of the fatties instead of being annoyed by it…..(not to mention the fact that you won’t feel like such a dumb fuck/asshole once you inevitably reach the point in life when you or your body is no longer game to monkey-bar it through the moving bus in order to save some impatient, unpunctual fuckwad a few seconds of time…..)

    learn to smile at your fellow humans…..don’t let them ruin your day…..yeah, most of them are stupid, inconsiderate, sloppy bitches — so what?…..

    i mean, if i had my way, i’d order compulsory vasectomies and tubal ligations for nearly the whole lot of them, but until that glorious day when i become king, i’ll just live and let live while trying to spread a little love and sympathy around, via smiles and random acts of kindness…..and I,A comment rants.

  16. #7, human in training: yeah, pretty much… not people are slow, which is one reason they’re on the bus, since they certainly don’t have the reflexes to drive…

    I now take the earlier bus so I usually get to work nearly 30 minutes early, but it’s either that or risk walking in barely on time…

    the thing that I really hate is when a crowd of able-bodied people try to exit the front of the bus when there’s a clear path to the rear door and people waiting to get on… they’re the ones slowing us down by making everybody wait for them to be lazy exiting the front when they should “go with the flow” and leave out the rear…

  18. Haha, Damosa would never meet you, not without a gang of other special ed kids with him…And btw by suggesting you meet him at Laurelhurst Park, he is implying that he is part of that cowardly racist thug group…

  20. Leaky, i’ve already challenged Geo to have a face-off with me in public several times. Like a true yellow-bellied scoundrel, he bitched out every single time.

    I’ll extent the same offer to ConflictArtist, since he has DARED to call me out. Anytime, any place, YOUR MOVE CHUCK!

  21. I will meet you at Washington Park Rose Garden on the stage, 5pm tonight. I will beat your little punk ass in style…

  24. No show like I thought…I go there every other day, so I don’t care about being trolled and i just wanted to prove a point- when the witless don’t get their way they will try intimidation/violence and when you stand up to them they will cower…so stop challenging everyone to fight you DamosA; it is only one more thing you suck at.

  28. @ 24,

    post a time very shortly in advance, hope that the other person does not see it in time, claim other person was a “no-show” – is THAT how you operate, eh? Believe it or not, i’m actually not here all day. So i didn’t even see your phony little challenge until just within the last 6 minutes. At least when i challenge someone, i give that person one full day in advance! It’s called “HAVING BALLS”. You might’ve heard of it?

    Alright jerk here’s a challenge: meet me at the North Portland library (across Killingsworth from PCC) b/t 3:00 – 3:27pm Saturday June 23rd. I challenge YOU, Geo, and Tcraig to all show yourselves. Each of you who dares do so will receive one U.S. dollar from me.

  30. Sorry DamosA, you blew it…Sorry you didn’t have time to gather up all of your little homies to make yourself feel brave, I could care less about your excuses…I’m not chasing you around nor am I gonna be trolled. You will just have to live with being a coward and an idiot…

  31. Ever occur to you that some of us have jobs and have little interest meeting/being seen with you???

    I got better things to do than ride around doubles on your tall bike and try on trench coats.

  32. DumbosA, have you ever even been in a fight? A one on one fight I mean? I tell you what, go ahead and round up your little gang, go to the library at the time you specified and once there start pillaging and shit so that I know which group is yours…

  33. damosa, what don’t you understand about not wanting to meet someone I find irritating on the internet? Making comments on the Merc website does not automatically mean we should meet at the tire swing at recess.

  37. Well you claimed that you were at Washington Park Rose Garden on the stage, 5pm tonight, so i guess we all just have to take your word for it. Well i gave YOU a far enough advance. Plus, unlike the site you proposed, EVERYONE knows where the NoPo Library is. Oh, and i have a dvd that’s due back in, so i will definitely be there! See you there, it’s GO TIME!

    You feel lucky, punk?

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