Dear friend, who keeps on smugly reminding me how much fun you had at the naked bike ride. Please stop asking me why I didn't go. First of all you live less than 3 miles from work yet you get in your car everyday to get there. I commute to work everyday except maybe 3 or 4 weeks in the dead of winter. You now consider yourself a bicycle activist? Are you kidding me?! You are nothing more than an attention seeking, pitiful, narcissus. Let me remind you that the few times I offered to take you on rides I have to wait for your lazy ass to catch up. If I have to hear that story about that guy whistling at you and complimenting your tits one more time. The people that watch are drunk and whistling at everyone not just you. I don't participate because it's lazy, gross and dangerous. You are such a sad pathetic person, not just you, but all of them seeking validation in this way. You make a mockery of a real form of transportation that can change the way we live for the better. Plus, it's bad enough I can see your fat ankles. No one should have to see that cellulite covered ass. If you're going to be this self absorbed try not bragging about it. You're embarrassing yourself and the people you tell. We're laughing at you not with you. -Anonymous
Fair Weather Naked Bike Rider
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.