[EDITOR’S NOTE: The person who submitted the following I, Anonymous obviously did not see our announcement that there is currently a two-month moratorium on all “I hate bicyclists, they’re all crazy, and I wish they were dead!” posts. Therefore I have changed all mentions of “bicycle” to “hoppity ball.” Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.]

Dear Woman who ran my Mother down while riding her hoppity ball on the sidewalk,

Have you no descent bone in your self righteous body? As my Mom was leaving work, and headed to the MAX stop at NE 7th, You decided it would be quicker to ride your hoppity ball on the busy sidewalk, than it would be to ride in a designated hoppity ball lane, OR IN THE STREET. So when you plowed into a 60 year old Grandmother and worried about your how your hoppity ball handle was bent, you completely neglected to worry about the other human being with wicked road rash on her elbow. People like you make hoppity ball-ists look bad. I hope your Mom gets run over too someday.

6 replies on “Maniac Cyclists [REVISED DUE TO MORATORIUM]”

  2. Today I saw one of those passenger type 3 wheelers, with a couple girls in the back, nice and shaded, and the driver of it (I forget the name – it had a bird painted or stenciled on it, so I assumed it was a nod to ‘Portlandia’ – but no, it was actually part of the company name)
    Anyway – this dumbass dude is riding backwards on it so he can easily chat up the girls in back.
    Yep – BACKWARDS.
    Oh dude, you are so cool you wanna show the girls yer package or what?
    I’ve seen 2 hit and run accidents involving just cars in this area – SE 11th and Lincoln -you looking to get into one too?
    Idiot! Transporting others, no less. I couldn’t believe that shit.

  3. The worst ones are the hoppity ball messengers. They never stay in the designated hoppity lanes and they hop in and out of traffic.

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