You know who you are—black trench coat, long gross hair, glasses... you come into Powell's every time I'm there, somehow score an outlet seat (probably scare the people sitting there away), and play fucking Skyrim on your Alien Nerd laptop USING UP ALL THE FUCKING BANDWIDTH SO I CAN'T USE THE FUCKING INTERNET. Why the fuck are you playing Skyrim in Powell's?????? STOP IT!!!!!!! If you have to do that shit can't you at least go to backspace where they'd like worship you for it. Or have your weird nerd Mom buy you wireless for your sad, lonely apartment.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!