Every morning, I hear my phone go off and I think it’s you. I think, maybe you’ve changed your mind and want to work things out after all. I can feel my heart skip a beat because the anticipation of getting you back is too exciting. I still love you, yes. But, when I grab my phone to check my messages, it’s fucking Cricket AGAIN with another offer of saving money, upgrading my phone or whatever. Every morning, I fall for it, perhaps because I’m still half asleep, or maybe it’s because I want to think it’s you. You used to text every morning to ask me how I slept and to say that you missed me…now I wake up all alone. I don’t want to save $13.50 a month if I change plans, I don’t want to get a newer 4G phone and I don’t want a family plan to save even more money, I just want you back. Thank you Cricket for not requiring a contract and providing me with reliable service for only $45 a month. But, damn you for giving me false hope each and every morning of my fucking life.

19 replies on “Stop It Cricket”

  1. Helpful advice: call Cricket and tell them to stop spamming you.

    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. I don’t like to insult sad people, but, damn…………..

  3. Lol, did I accidentally hack this shit?

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  4. yea bro, holding down the period key is a totally epic hack

    Anon: he/she left you because you use Cricket. Seriously friend, Cricket is the biggest turn off ever. It says everything one needs to know about you, that you scrape the bottom of the barrel, will always be a broke ass and will settle for the cheapest of anything in life.

  6. “My phone is a piece of shit! My service sucks! I fucking HATE (insert service provider here)!”
    – Every cell phone owner under the age of thirty.

    Aside from not being able to use my phone when I was in New Zealand, I have no complaints about Cricket aside from the fact that their stores are consistently understaffed.

  7. Is Cricket scraping the bottom on the barrel? Hmm… I have Cricket and it’s just fine. My friend pays $100 bucks a month for her Verizon plan and I pay under $50… and the service is the same. And yeah, Cricket doesn’t make you sign a contract… it’s month to month, yo. No complaints of Cricket here!

  11. How is this a planted ad? The guy likes Cricket, so what? Is Cricket targeting the 30 people who actually read Mercury’s I, Anonymous online? Wow, what a brilliant marketing plan!

  12. for real: You’re on Cricket either because you’re a teen with poor parents, or an adult who’s ruined their credit report. No exceptions.

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