Hey neighbor. Every year on the other side of the fence you constructed, the grass dies. Also, every year you prep and plant seed to grow more grass. It’s dark and shady (thanks to your freakshow super tall fence; keeping us separated was very important to you and your family).
So, you prepared the soil, planted the grass seeds and water like its free. All to cover a giant space where it dies yearly.
Here’s the thing: the grass dies because I pee through and over the fence long after you go to bed. Every. Single. Night.
I try to angle some of my urine streams to create sprays using posts from your fence. It’s funny because you ribboned off the area to foot/animal traffic but my stanky acidic piss eats and destroys all your hard work. Haw?
Why? Because you and yours are always parking in front of my house when there is PLENTY of room in front of yours. Forcing me to park on the next block……..
Technically what I’m doing at 3am is legal. And it is hilarious as fuck as your grass won’t grow ever on my watch. At least i piss a criss cross pattern, I could probably,pee a swastika, bitch.
This town is rife with sociopaths. If they have room in front of their house, FUCKING PARK THERE THEN!!!
Totally understand why they would want an extra-tall fence.
That sounds like the neighborly thing to do, for sure.
If your pee is that powerful, it must be able to cure cancer, or fuel turbo jets, huh? Maybe your pee was in the gas tank of Malaysia airliners?
I give you praise, though, you are the best pee artist in town.
You’re pretty cool, Beavis.
Of all the IA submissions that are petty, homeowners always take the cake.
You have a watch that grows grass???
Ohh, ohhh, you should piss-write ‘Entitled Bitch’.
You Sir are nothing but a piss ant!!
Since when does pee kill grass?
Even Dirty Mike wouldn’t sink this low.
“I hope the next person who takes the street parking in front of my house get STABBED WITH A DIRTY SYRINGE!!” -The Unreasonable Homeowners Association of Portland
I bet the author has no leg hair below the knees from all the splash back.
How much you want to bet this fucker hasn’t even tried talking to this person? Ask him to move his car or park in front of his house!
Dear Passive Aggressive Portland….stop it. Just ask them nicely if they would be so kind as to park in front of their house if there is room. It’s a totally reasonable thing to do. If they refuse, fine. But at least you will feel better about yourself for not being such a limp scrot.
Grass is shade intolerant, not piss intolerant, dumbass.
^I totally thought about pointing that out, but I decided that dirty syringes might be more on I,A’s level of reasoning skills.
“Why isn’t my lawn grown”
Why aren’t you, you immature little shit birded ass wagon?
i’d build a fence too if my neighbor was a Nazi.