Yes, most of us (men) are idiots, but even the simplest minded of our group can see through most of your charades. When you take a photo of yourself from above, with you staring longingly into the camera, what this means is that you’re attempting to hide your weight. A shot taken from above gives the illusion of thinness which I’m certain is your goal, but you’re not fooling anyone. Taking a photo with a group of friends might incline one to identify exactly which one they are, but no. Inevitably and without fail, you are the least “hot” one in the bunch. Why on earth you’d post a photo of yourself with a “hot” friend or friends is beyond me. Having no photo at all under the guise of remaining “anonymous” or “mysterious” is just a flat out lie. Two reasons why one would choose to not have a photo: 1. You’re overweight and you know it. 2. You’re unattractive and you know it. Over and over and over again, the same behavior from different individuals on online dating sites. It’s getting old; all the lies. LIES, I SAY! And yes, we men are likely more annoying and idiotic with our profiles, but don’t you also see through the bullshit? Of course you do, just like we see through yours. We’re all just swimming in a sea shit looking for love. Let’s collectively wipe it off our faces, look up at the long forgotten sunlight of honesty, and embrace our flaws and our differences. After a shower, of course, you know, because of all the shit we’ve been swimming in.

12 replies on “Online Dating TIps for the Ladies”

  1. Guess what? You’re on the same fucking internet dating site as these so called fat girls are on. Lick the Cheeto dust off your booger-pickers and go meet someone in real life.

  3. I would add “displaying a lack of reading comprehension” to any list of online dating don’ts. When I say I want a guy who lives within 10 miles of 97218, do not write me from Salem. Or Nebraska.

  5. The first time I took my dog to the coast, she got the sea shits in the middle of the night. I think she ingested too much salt water fetching sticks in the surf.

    And, hopefully, we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here today, kids.

  6. One of my close female friends is easily a 10 and she uses no picture on her dating profile. Back when she had a photo she’d show me the meathead messages she got (in abundance) every day. It was cringeworthy as fuck. It made me realize how awful internet dating is for women. My point is just because there’s no photo on the profile doesn’t mean she’s fat or ugly. It could just be a dime who’s tired of all the ‘ur fuckin hot babe’ bs messages.

  7. Sheesh, I agree with this – there are a lot of chicks posting edited or specifically positioned camera/cell selfie pics on the online dating websites. This needs to stop – OR these same chicks should not be butt hurt when their first in-person date ends in 20 min and the guy never calls/texts them back. You lady, are a liar. Shame on you.

    My mini vent about the pictures dudes post on online dating services – they post their baby pictures, or just their car/truck, the mountain, a sunset or a meme. Laaaaaaaame.

  12. I think the happiest people must be asexual because they don’t have to look for anyone online,at a bar,at church,at the beach,at the bath house,under a desk,peeping through windows,walking your dog,at the library,at the zoo,at the barnyard,at the farmers market or a million other places.

    Society puts so much pressure on people to find a significant other and and just think how many people use excuses not to hook up. It’s alright to be alone and it’s alright to not go through this much trouble to find the right one.

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