You're too sexy and sweet, I'm not at all oblivious as to what a great catch you are, despite me being somewhat of an average pothead dude type. We had two awesome dates already and date #3 at my place. Holy shit you cooked an amazing dinner for us, but heavy cream can make me gassy after a while. We hang around my apartment, listen to music, drink, touch, then realize we have to leave to get you to the max before the last train leaves.

As we walk to the stop about 8 blocks away, the cream works its way through, and suddenly the urge to fart is there. Not just like any urge, like the most insane urge. I can't even focus on what she's saying.. I notice my demeanor has changed.. I can't be me, this gas is about to rip me apart.

We arrive at the stop and she's facing me and smiling when suddenly a huge delivery truck pulls up to the Starbucks. That roaring engine idling would provide the perfect cover. I unclench my anus and the fart steps on deck and takes a dive to open air, and as SOON as the fart begins the driver turns off the engine. Dead silence for a brief moment, then...... this precious, beautiful, amazing girl stared in my eyes as I unleashed the longiest, grimiest Wu Tang fart of my life.

The. Fucking. Horror. The embarrassment. That flushing feeling in my body of absolute cringe. The max couldn't have come sooner, literally 20 seconds later she was gone and I thought for good til a minute later I get a text: "im still laughing! what are we doing Sat?" Fuck yes!