THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2

10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

When Mac's dad is released from prison, Mac and Charlie try to avoid him by faking their deaths.

11:00 BRAVO TIM GUNN'S GUIDE TO STYLE

Debut! The Project Runway fashion maven works over a new dumpy gal every week. "Make it work... person."

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3

8:00 CW EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS

Season premiere! Chris is psyched for his first day of high school—until he learns everybody hates him there, too.

9:00 SCIFI SANCTUARY

Debut! The popular web-series hits the tube with sexy girls with guns fighting monsters and aliens. Nerdgasm!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4

11:00 SHOW LOUIS C.K.: CHEWED UP

A new comedy special featuring America's favorite foul-mouthed schlub!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5

8:00 CW VALENTINE

Debut! A family of Greek gods take it upon themselves to hook up normal mortals. Thanks, Greek gods!

9:00 CW EASY MONEY

Debut! Laurie (Roseanne) Metcalf stars in this potential winner about a family of loan sharks.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 6

9:00 NBC HEROES

While trying to save the world, Peter takes on a horrifying new ability. Let's just say it has something to do with flatulence.

10:00 VH1 HIP HOP HONORS

An award ceremony celebrating music's true pioneers, including De La Soul, Slick Rick, and Naughty by Nature!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7

6:00 ALL NETS PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

Hey, McCain! Here's a good excuse for you to miss this one: your colostomy bag broke!

9:00 BRAVO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA

Debut! Just like The Real Housewives of Orange County—except slightly more black.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8

9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY

Part one of the season finale, when the top three strut their stuff at Bryant Park!

10:30 COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

Season premiere! Sarah gets high for the first time and leaves herself a voicemail that she definitely shouldn't listen to.