In case you haven't already figured this out, there's an inverse correlation between the time you spend playing videogames and the time you spend scoring trim. (Apologies to the four women who read Geek Out. Although the industry will have you believe that more and more females are grabbing joysticks, gaming is an overwhelmingly male-dominated pastime.)

Consider the following scenario, dear gamer: By some inconceivable fluke, you pick up a honey and talk her into coming back to your place. You've got your Strawberry Hill buzz on, you swing open the door to your apartment, and what's the first thing she sees? No, it's not your bong, and no, it's not your Revenge of the Sith coloring book. She's staring at the PlayStation 2 controllers and discs spread across the floor. Fifteen minutes later, you realize that she must have crawled out the bathroom window--it's just you and Digimon, alone again.

Luckily for you, the good folks at Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo recognize your plight, and they've been working overtime to help you out: The recently unveiled Nintendo Revolution, Xbox 360, and PlayStation 3 are some sexy-ass, Sharper Image-looking machines. Think back to the ultra-modern stylistic break that happened when Apple released the iMac, or when Volkswagen trotted out the new Beetle, and you'll have an idea of the undeniably sexy design shifts happening in the world of videogame consoles.

Looking like crosses between white noise machines and retina scanners, the new products are masterworks of technological design. Nintendo's Revolution is the sleekest of them all, with its vertical, ultra-glossy rectangular form nestling into a gradated base, so that it rests at an inviting, skewed angle. Even its disc insert slot glows blue, making it look like the coolest accessory of the future. Now the only problem will be leaving it alone long enough to pursue some of those aforementioned honeys. CHAS BOWIE